LA Vie En Rose, I live my life in rose. I don’t know if it’s blind optimism or an idealist’s view of the life in front of me some days I worry that my perception of the world is really just me on the brink of pure madness. What I do know is that although I may appear to pop out of bed in the morning with daisies coming out of my ass, my search for constant happiness is actually hard work. I’ve learned from my pain and adversity that anything worth envying in this life does not come easy, not even happiness. My happiness is a source of hard work and dedication to build a happy life. I give a lot of advice to my friends who have called me many things: positive, bubbly, sweet, kind, loud, optimistic, idealist, happy, and giggly but an attribute I loved the most was resilience. I would be none of these things every day if it wasn’t for my resilience. In the advice I’ve given I’ve realized that a lot of my peers suffer from the same pains, fears, worries, and frustrations that use to and some days still do keep me down.
Some mornings I wake up and see my whole world La Vie En Rose, I hear the birds chipping, see the sun shining and Edith Piaf plays a French tune that I don’t understand so I don’t actually have to think about how it’s most likely a broken ballad about growing up in a whore house. Sigh. It’s a wonderful life. But let’s face it there are those days that are more like the bad parts of the FRIENDS theme song am I right? Like when it hasn’t been your day your week your month or even your year, Martha Kauffman just gets me. Your job is a joke…you’re broke. Like who wrote that song? Get out of my head! I don’t know the secret to eternal happiness I truly believe that there would not be real bliss without real sorrow. What I do know is how to build and rebuild a strong foundation, the roots that keep you grounded during even the worst of storms and I’ll share them with you now.
These are the five “corner” stones to happiness. Not necessarily in order of priority.
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Be Well
Health, have you ever been on a plane while their doing that dummy happy demonstration of what to do if the plane suddenly loses oxygen? LIKE WHAT? The plane can SUDDENLY lose oxygen?! Anyways, in the event, the plane is not going down and you’re not plummeting to your death and praying that God forgives you for those “experimental” college years, you’re supposed to CALMLY take the oxygen mask and FIRST apply it to yourself then HELP OTHERS. Now terrifying plane analogy aside, the real point here is to HELP YOURSELF FIRST. Your health should be the single most important thing in your life because it is responsible for how your other relationships are affected. And by health, I do not mean Instagramming a piece of fruit or the acai bowl you got this morning because you feel healthy AF all of a sudden, and shit this is so good you could go vegan, yeah, I could do it! Fuck gluten! No, stop that. Your health is not just about the things you feed your body with but the things you feed your soul with, deep right. Feeding your soul is so important to long-term happiness. How do I feed my soul? That sounds ridiculous! Well, it’s not. You know that warm fuzzy feeling you get when you curl up next to a fire, watch the snow fall or dig your feet so far into the sand it feels cold on a hot beach day? Where do your warm fuzzy feelings stem from? Do those things, daily, hourly, nightly; BE A FUCKING LUSH. Those picturesque moments you see in old films will fill your life. Wellness is something that’s attainable for everything, it’s hard work to be healthy but you can do it whether its diet related or your mental health, point yourself in a direction of success and take small steps every day to get there. But the warm fuzzy moments those will help eliminate your stress and make you happier over all.
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The Giving (Family) Tree
Family, and not necessarily the endurable at holidays only family or the relatives that are just out of reach that you catch up with and visit because well they’re blood. (They are important too obviously). I’m talking about the family that you build yourself made up of friends and people that have been in your life for as long as you can remember. The roots. This is your support system and it’s good to keep it well-nourished. The best way to nourish a relationship is to give and some would say without regard for getting back but I’m going to argue that. Kindness is the new black but when it comes to building your “family” you need to support those who support you back. If you have a one-sided relationship trust me the resentment will snowball and eventually blow up and if you have unfortunate timing like me it will most likely surface the moment you’re desperately searching for her missing veil with an ugly itchy dress (she had to approve even though you weren’t invited into the bridal party) on and your hair in a sideways bun (she’s already made fun of your for) that’s giving you a headache that for some reason is evoking every memory of her bitching at you about how pathetic the tattooed weirdos you date are and putting you down until you just throw your hands in the air and head to the bar. Fuck her veil! What the f are we doing in a catholic church anyway didn’t she convert to Buddhism for the last guy she dated? No! Don’t get to this point! If you are 25+ you need to look around you and realize some of these women just aren’t going to make it to the finish line. You can’t spread yourself too thin when it comes to love. Give the most to the relationships that deserve the most and most especially to the relationships that give back.
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Work is a Four Letter Word
You know those quotes that are all “Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life?” Well, they’re all true. If you’re in your twenties then by now you should know what your talent is. By now someone has told you that you’re good at something and by now you should know 5 things that you enjoy doing be it writing, decorating, drawing, yoga, etc. This should be you’re “work.” I’m not saying that you won’t also need a job to earn your cost of living alongside it, I’m saying that you need to separate the two work from the job. We are millennials and now in this age, the highest-grossing hotel has no actual hotel, the largest store has no actual store the possibilities for success are limitless thanks to the internet. If you dedicate yourself and some part of your day and salary to working towards your dream it will come true. Most people give up on their dreams because of words like practicality, the reality is they give up because they’re afraid of failure well guess what you can fail at a secure job too. So you don’t have to be afraid, you can be an accountant by day and a youtube guitar soloist by night, you can be a saleswoman and a blogger or a bartender and an actress or an artist and a fitness instructor or a yogi and a waitress. Your work is what you love, it’s not your job, it’s what you hope to make your job. Don’t ever give up on that, the only difference between you and the person who made their dreams come true is that?… they never stopped trying.
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Girls Just Want to Have….
Fun. Everyone needs a little R&R. Whether you enjoy the spa or throwing back tequila shots on a Saturday night you deserve EVERY WEEK to take some time to unwind. This life is not just about the paychecks and deadlines, your boss, your mom, your rent, or your bullshit it’s about the moments and memories and laughs with friends. You cannot spend every week channeling Sara Jessica Parker in I don’t know how she does it! You will go crazy from the stress because let’s face it life is stressful. So find the time for you, your time.
