Dating is kind of like fishing. You throw a hook into the dark blue water, not exactly sure what you’re hoping to catch. Maybe you’re prepared, maybe you aren’t, but you know that when you feel a tug on the line, you’ll get a better idea when you reel him in.
Like your Mr. Perfect, you might not have been able to hold onto him, but at least you know what you’re holding out for. And next time the perfect guy—or fish comes around, you’ll be ready for him.
So, when you see another girl holding the hand of your should-have-been Mr. Perfect, instead of feeling sad or jealous, just make sure losing him wasn’t for nothing.
Make yourself aware of all the things that made him seem so great. What is it about him that makes you feel like you’re missing out? Was he actually everything you wanted, or did it just seem that way because he’s the one that got away? Get to the bottom of your feelings.
Learning what you want out of a S.O. will help you navigate future relationships. Once you know what you’re looking for, you’ll be able to weed out the guys that don’t match up to your boyfriend-wishlist.
Try to figure out why you weren’t ready, so you can be better prepared for next time. When someone comes along who checks off all the requirements and then some but it ends up not working, you have to get down to the root of it. If you can name what it is that made you not prepared, you can fix it before it happens again.
Be honest with yourself about what kind of relationship you’re in the market for. If the reason it didn’t work out is because you just weren’t ready to settle down with someone great, then maybe you aren’t looking for a serious relationship right now.
Make sure you’re being upfront about how you feel, so that when another special someone comes back around, he’ll know where you stand. Communication is a key component to making relationships stick.
Realize that he wasn’t your Mr. Perfect after all, because if he was, he’d have stuck around while you figured it out. The right guy for you won’t be able to walk away.
Right now, it may seem like you’re missing out on something that could have been great, but you can’t live your life wondering about “what ifs.” It couldn’t have been great because it wasn’t, so focus on the future and learn from past relationship mistakes, and I promise your Mr. Perfect will be here to stay.