The day I met you, you were so full of life. How could anyone not love you? An angel itself could've not done a better job creating that smile.
You glowed with a such a love of life that I became addicted, thinking you could bring some love into my broken life.
The first few months were great. You made me feel like I was the only girl in the world. You laid your claim quickly, though, introducing me to the "L" word before I even thought I was ready to let you steal my heart away.
You soon had me so sucked into your dark soull that I was neglecting friends and family so I could bask in your sappy affection. You showered me with love and gifts and taught me that this was what love was about.
Until the day you introduced me to heartbreak just as fast as you had introduced me to love.
I still remember the first time you called me a bitch. The pain ripped through my heart like a butcher knife. But it was OK…because you were sorry and you were just angry and I should forgive you.
Then the next time… and the next.
The names you called me rolled off your tongue as easy as the ABCs. I begged you to stop… but then remembered that it was all my fault for making you so angry, so I would apologize and beat myself to a pulp for upsetting the man I loved.
You never had to apologize, you were too good for that and I was not good enough. I didn't deserve your apologies and I went to bed every night praying that someday you would see my worth.
But soon, words weren't enough and they became fists. You laughed when I cowered and you told me how foolish I was. I was dramatic. I was overreacting. Blowing it out of proportion.
My success at my job and in my life intimidated you, and soon, I was just not allowed to have it. You kept me at home, locked in your prison of lies and pleads and made sure I had just enough love to keep coming back for more.
I'lI was never allowed a voice. I was never allowed to be angry, or sad, or happy. The emotion was something I forgot how to express because it got met with an unkind word or hands that weren't so gentle.
I'll change, you said. You deserve better, you said.
I'm doing nothing wrong, it's all you, you said. Nobody will ever love you, you said.
I went from the perfect love of your life to not being good enough. I gave you everything I had and you still wanted more. I got less and less in return as the days went on.
I became emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically ruined by your impossible expectations.
I hated you until the day I walked out and never looked back.
The day that I realized that I lost a lying, coward of a man but you had lost the one person who stood by you even when you ripped apart her soul and stomped it into the muddy ground.
It was the most freeing thing I had ever done. The most liberating.
Walking away from my prison with a smile on my face. I will heal. I will continue to be strong and successful.
You will always be the weakest man I have ever met.
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