No one is perfect. We all take chances, make mistakes, get hurt in ways that we never planned on.
But we have to learn from them.
And you taught me in the worst way.
I know that whatever we had, at some point, made sense. It was new and fresh and you made me feel like I was capable of anything with you by my side.
But then you changed. And so did my feelings for you.
I’m all about forgiveness. I know that in order to make sense of all the crazy, messed up things that happen, we have to let go.
And I did.
I did all the right things in order to let you go. To give up on you. To watch you walk away and know that it was for the best.
But don’t you dare try to come back after all this time and act like nothing happened.
I don’t care anymore if you’re sorry, if you want to take it all back. Because my feelings are not something that start and stop.
You can’t just press rewind, take me into your arms, and promise that it will never happen again. It took me so long to firgive you, and myself for letting you in the way that I did.
But I got stronger. I grew into someone else and you did that. But you don’t get to do it all over again.
I wanted for so long to see you down on your knees, begging and pleading with me to give you jsut one more chance.
But now I know that you’re the kind of person that won’t ever change.
Maybe our hearts just beat to a different time. Maybe I was ready and you were just scared. Maybe you really do mean it, but whatever the reason, I’m not going to give you that power over me ever again.
I won’t relight this flame just to watch it burn me harder and faster and deeper than before.
I don’t hate you, though I spent a lot of time trying to.
But I know now that I desereve someone whose going to be there no matter what. Someone who builds me up instead of tearing me down.
You weren’t ready for someone like me, who loves fiercely like I do. And that’s okay.
I just want you to know that you could have had it all. You could have taken all of my love and returned it and instead, you chose something else.
Now that I have come to terms with you, with us, with the losing you part, I’m not going to start all over just because you say you’re sorry.
I’m sure, deep down, you really are.
But you just still did what you did. And you still tore me apart, you still broke my heart and that is not something I care forget so easily.
So thank you.
For admitting that you were wrong, for being a man and owning up to your mistakes and trying to right all those wrongs, but I’m telling you now and forever, I won’t ever give you another chance to break me.
I’m not being guarded, I just know what it feels like to get left by someone like you. I thought I would never recover and now that I have, I’m not going to do anything, say anything, that will mess that up for me.
Yes, it might be selfish, but sometimes you have to love yourself harder and better than anyone else in order to find the people who are going to do the same.
And you weren’t that person.
So, we can still be friends. If I run into you with someone else, I won’t get jealous, I won’t be hurt. Even after all of this, I still believe that you had good intentions.
Just know that whatever you saw in me when we were us, that’s not yours for the taking anymore.
I may be sweet, but I am not native. So please, just take all of those sorrys, all of those I won’t ever lose you again, and save them for someone who buys it.