Simon Cowell has become a household name known for his work in the music and entertainment industry -specifically talent competitions (American Idol, Britain's Got Talent, America's Got Talent, etc.) His insults are quick, honest, and though harsh typically full of wit.
1. "If you had lived 2,000 years ago and sung like that, I think they would have stoned you."
2. "I don't know what cats being squashed sound like in Lithuania, but I now have a pretty good idea."
3. "You have the personality of a handle."
4. "It was a bit like ordering a hamburger, and only getting the bun."
5. "First of all, the dress is completely wrong. And then you sang the song out of tune and a bit like a baby."
6. "If the criteria was to vote people through for singing every note out of tune, you would win tonight."
7. "That song was like going to a zoo or something. I mean the noises were beyond anything I have ever, ever heard."
8. "If your lifeguard duties were as good as your singing, a lot of people would be drowning."
9. "Do you have a singing teacher? Get a lawyer and sue her."
10. "You look a little odd, your dancing is terrible, the singing was horrendous, and you look like one of those creatures that live in the jungle with the massive eyes. What are they called? Bush baby."
11. ''I thought it was an odd fit: The rocker doing the Partridge family… It would be rather like ordering a guard dog for your home and getting delivered a poodle in a leather jacket. It's not the real thing."
12. "My advice would be if you want to pursue a career in the music business, don't."
13. "If you win this competition, we will have failed."
14. "It would be like coaching a one-legged man to win the 100 meter sprint. I may be a great coach, but if you haven't got it, you haven't got it."
15. "Oh, gosh, where do I start? I mean I'm not being rude but you look like the Incredible Hulk's wife."
16. "It was a little bit like a Chihuahua trying to be a tiger."
Ahhh, thank you Simon, we needed the inspiration today. Keep 'em coming!
