I Flat Out Refuse to Let My Anxiety Define Me Any Longer

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You can be doing everything right, but anxiety doesn't care. It will rear its ugly head back into your life without a moment's notice. 

Learning to live with anxiety leads to a lot of pain.

There are days that you can control it almost seamlessly, and there are days that it grabs hold of you mercilessly. 

It comes barreling in with no remorse, and it can make you feel ashamed

Ashamed that you can't hide it better. Ashamed that you still struggle with it. Ashamed that it makes you appear weak. 

It can feel like it comes out of nowhere. It encircles you in fear and doubt and threatens to derail all the positive efforts you've made to cope with it. 

So, anxiety, my very worst enemy…

I will fight you off with everything I have

Because there is so much more to see than my anxiety. There is so much more to me than the racing thoughts and constant worry. 

There will be times that I fail and you'll reinforce your control over me

But, these will only be temporary failures in my quest to silence you for good. I will not allow moments of weakness to overshadow the strength that's inside of me. 

I won't hide from the way you make me feel.   

I know that the emotional process can be overwhelming, but I will face it all head on. I will face each fear and each concern. I will let it have its say, and then I will dismiss it. 

While living with anxiety is a constant battle, I am going to win the war.

I will ask for reinforcements on days that it's just too much, and I will cut myself some slack on the days where I need more time. I won't be tricked into thinking that I need to handle this alone because I don't. 

I have a whole army of people ready to support me, and I won't be afraid of asking for help. 

I flat out refuse to feel ashamed of my anxiety anymore

Because if I'm ashamed, then I am giving it exactly what it wants. I am elevating its importance in my heart and giving it power over me. 

I will not be ashamed of the struggle because the struggle proves I am here. I am showing up to combat my inner demons. 

I may not always be winning, but I will always be fighting.

I will accept that I am human and flawed, but I will not accept a label that fails on such a large scale to really see me for who I am. 

I will not allow my heart to be held hostage anymore by my anxiety. I will not allow my struggle to be boiled down into one word.

All my life, it has tried to tell me who I am, but it doesn't know me at all. 

For I am many things: I am strong, I am capable, I am resilient. 

But, no. 

I am not my anxiety.

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