I love my boyfriend, but God, I miss dating. We’ve been going out for a while, and don’t get me wrong, I’m totally happy. It’s great, he’s great. He’s my good morning text, my go-to for troubles and the one person I can talk to about literally anything. He’s my rock, my safe haven, my best friend.
But I can’t shake this feeling that I’m missing out when I see my friends get excited over meeting new people.
I miss that bubbly feeling in my stomach when I got that “hey” text. And when I completely over thought every response possible so that every word I typed looked weird and didn't even look like English anymore.
And when screenshotting texts to my friends wasn’t about a fight I was frustrated over, but something cute he said or something juicy he told me.
I miss the random efforts to get me to fall for him, the little ‘thinking about ya’ messages and unexpected visits. Honestly, I miss being chased. I miss feeling like I was worth the random flowers or mid-week lunch dates at my favorite restaurants because I deserved all that and more.
Now it’s like a routine to go to our ‘usual’ places and get our ‘usual’ order. We're walking together in this life that just sort of pulled us in and now we're here. It's a comfortable place and it's everything I've ever wanted… But why do I get this feeling?
Because the thing is, I might always miss the spontaneity of dating but I will never find someone who makes me feel as real as my boyfriend does.
I’ve never met someone who allows me to be so vulnerable, so myself that I never question a word that comes out of my mouth because I know with him I’m safe. I know deep down, he’s the one I’m meant to be with… I just wonder if this feeling like I’m missing something is ever going to get out of my system…
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