We fall in love for all kinds of reasons. Most of the time, from the outside looking in, everyone thinks we’re crazy. They offer up their opinions, they try and tell you what to do, how to make things work out. But when it comes down to it, it’s only about you and your person.
That’s what I thought when we first got together. That you were my person. I was so sure. I was willing to bet on it. To bet on you. Because when I looked at you, I finally saw what I had been missing with everyone else. I saw home with you.
And so yes, I fell for you. In this really big, fast way.
I fell for you the way that everyone warns you not too. I fell for you with every ounce of me that I had. I gave you my heart without listening to reason. Without asking questions. Because I thought that you were going to take care of it. I thought that when I was falling, you were standing there, just waiting to catch me.
And I wanted it to work. I was so sure that it was all going to fall into place.
When you held me, I thought oh. This is what it’s supposed to feel like. This is how it feels when your heart wants something bigger and better than you ever imagined.
But then, something changed. It wasn’t me and it wasn’t you. It was just the way that it fell apart. Just as quickly as I thought it all fell together. Maybe it was because you were good at pretending. Maybe it was because as much as I thought that you cared, you only made me think that to make it easier on you.
The truth is, I don’t know what hurts more. Knowing that I gave you so much without getting anything in return or thinking that we were on the same page. Thinking that we had the same kind of heart, and the same kind of love to give.
Whatever the reasons, I want you to know one very important thing. I was never someone else when I was with you. I never tried to make myself into something I wasn’t just to make sure that I could keep you. I was never anything but honest with you, right from the start.
I want you to know that you didn’t have to be either. You didn’t have to build yourself up to make me want you. I wanted you all along. I never needed anything or anyone else but you.
Now, it just feels like I fell in love with a ghost. With someone who is only really half way there. Your just like a shadow of a whole person. Maybe it’s because you never really found out who you are and what you really wanted. But I wasn’t your test run.
I didn’t deserve to be your standin until you found what it really was that you were looking for. And it all comes back to you. I never played games with you. I never pulled on your heartstrings. But you did teach me one very important thing.
I deserve the love that I kept trying to give to you. I really do. And it took you breaking my heart to finally understand that. I won’t thank you, because that would be too kind. But I will remember you. Even when I try my hardest to forget.
I’ll never forget that you were the wrong person at the right time. And the one that I wanted to give my whole heart too. You just weren’t the one. But now, whenever and if ever he comes along. I’m going to know exactly how to love him the right way. And the best way.
So I guess, whatever way you want to spin it, you could have won. You just chose not too.