Occasionally, I find myself with tears rolling down my face – not from sadness, but from the strange and overwhelming feeling of being alone.
I got so used to always being with you. We were inseparable, whether we were going to the grocery store or just aimlessly driving around.
That was our biggest problem; we stopped acting like our own people and became extensions of one another.
We were toxic in the most tragically beautiful way. Our love seemed unconditional and limitless; it was absolutely intoxicating, like all the worst things for us are.
When you walked out of my life, I lost a part of myself as well as my best friend and sole confidant. You took every bit of my confidence.
For so long I thought you were the solution to all my problems, but you were the problem. You taught me to rely on you then left me alone and stranded.
When we were together, you were my protector. You made sure everything in life was handed to me but, by doing that, you stunted my growth.
You rendered me unable to deal with others who didn't coddle me the way that you did.
But now that you're gone, I am learning to stand on my own. I'm finally growing again.
It’s slow and painful sometimes. I've failed many times and without a doubt, I will fail again – but this time it will be on my own terms.
I'm no longer afraid to face life without you by my side; I'm learning to find comfort in my solitude.
The toxic memories will always remain, but the pain will fade. This loneliness is not forever.
