I was there for all of your ups and all of your downs, which there seemed to be more downs. I would sit and listen to you complain about how much you work and how tiring it was and how you just wanted to sleep. I would comfort you and rub your back and lay down and watch TV with you, and forget about all of my issues in the day and if I had to run errands.. They were lost, forgotten, trivial. I would bend over backwards for a “man” who wouldn’t give me half of what I gave him. A man who would raise his voice to me when he deemed necessary, when I would talk about my day and a few stressful things I had happen to me. I was always left feeling worthless, feeling sorry for even bringing up my issues. I felt stupid for even having problems because your issues were always the end of the world and mine meant nothing. When I would bring up that i was tired from working a 3rd shift job and that I would need to sleep atleast 2 hours after work, I was told I was lazy and to suck it up and that I sleep a lot. I was stuck in a mentally and emotionally abusive relationship because I thought I was suppose to support you no matter what and stick with you throughout everything. But when I realized no one should be talked to the way I was.. I knew something had to change, and change fast.
To this day I find myself apologizing for complaining or apologizing to talking about things that actually matter to me about how my day has went, or how I feel about a certain situation. And then when people look at me and give me that look, I can tell.. I have nothing to apologize for, my issues mean just as much as anyone else’s. I am just as important as anyone else. I deserve to be listened to. I deserve to have an opinion.
I was your anchor, but you let me sink…
