How can I even be sad over you?
I never dated you and as you call it, we’re “just friends who go and get food.”
But there are certain points that we crossed that makes this untrue. You can’t just undo certain things that have happened no matter how bad you want to.
You can’t undo the fact that you slept with me, full well knowing how I felt about you.
So you can’t tell me I’m overthinking whats going on between us.
Obviously I now know that you don’t see me as anything more than a friend and that just makes me feel like this stupid girl who thought you sleeping with me meant you liked me as more than that.
But people like you only do those kinds of things to benefit yourself.
I saw in you someone who had the potential to be exactly what I’ve been looking for: mature, caring, and kind.
But the immaturity and indifference to the importance of my feelings have shown me that you are none of the things I imagined you could be.
I think that’s what hurts the most too.
The fact that you turned out to be exactly the opposite of the image I created in my head. I know it’s crazy, but it feels like I’m mourning the loss of someone that could have been really awesome.
But really you’re just a boy like the rest of them.
You’re stuck in the immaturity of your teenage years and it seems like you haven’t figured out that that really isn’t attractive to anyone other than teenage girls.
You need to work on yourself and figure out what you want.
And I don’t really want to be the guinea pig you use to help you figure your shit out. While I know I don’t have everything together myself, I do know that I want more than just taking care of you while you get drunk or party every weekend.
It gets old.
So yes I am sad. I know you weren’t my boyfriend, but I saw the potential in you for so long now that I feel sadness at finally realizing you will never be that person.
Or at least not now.
But I realize that I can do better than that, and I deserve better than that.
So this is me saying goodbye at least for now. I wish you were a better man and I wish things turned out differently, but I know that in order for me to move on, we have to separate for now.
I wish you the best and hope you grow as a person and reach the potential in the person you can be, the person I’ve seen in you all this time.