Do I miss ever you? Do I miss those morning texts? Do I miss your nightly texts where you would tell me how you had an amazing or a shitty day?
Do I miss seeing your name constantly pop up on my phone? Do I miss seeing your name always as the first person who viewed my silly snaps? The answer to all those questions is YES and a very big YES!!
But, just because I miss our good times doesn't mean that I have forgotten about the bad times nor will I ever… As Nicki puts it in her song 'Fire Burns', "You piece of shit, you broke me down..Thought you said you, would hold me down"…
Because that is exactly how I felt after our breakup, you didn't fight for me and that's when I knew in my heart that it was over. If you love someone, you don't let them go so easily, you try to hold onto them for as long as possible…
You just played with me and my feelings like I was nothing but a toy to you. Little do you know, how much you had an influence on me, as cliche as it may sound I thought you were different from all the other guys I had ever met.
You became my fantasy, you became my prince charming riding on a horse like in a Disney movie to come and save me from this cruel, pathetic world. But, boy oh boy was I wrong, you weren't my prince but infact you were the villain and the thief…and not in a cute 'Tangled' kind of way because for us there was and is no happy ending…
But, don't you dare let my misery and sadness over you make you feel smug because even though you broke my heart into a million pieces, I am still alive and surviving..and slowly but surely I am finding EACH one of those broken pieces and putting them together.
One day, I will find my real prince charming and unlike you he won't leave me, he won't ignore me for weeks and break up over Whatsapp because unlike you he won't be a complete coward.
Until then, I hope Karma gets you back because you didn't just hurt me, you hurt my pure soul. And all my soul wanted was to love you, but you didn't let me. You made me feel like an option and I am so proud of myself for recognizing that… I even wanted to cook for you despite the fact that I hate cooking…I really wanted to let you in but you walked out of my life before I could even call out your name…
Just know this ladies, if he doesn't fight for you, he doesn't want you from the bottom of his heart and that is why you should never beg him to stay nor come back or reach out to him again, he doesn't deserve a second chance and you don't deserve a douchebag like him…you can do better, we can all do better…
And know this pretty boy, you charmed your way into my life, you broke down all my high walls with a hammer and made me feel the most vulnerable I have ever felt in my life and then you left and I cried myself to sleep every single night, I cried on the bus, on the subway, at the grocery shop, but I've learnt my lessons and believe me before I ever reach for you again I will cut off my arm… you humiliated me and you destroyed me.
I'm not that bubbly, full of life girl I used to me, you took all that away from me and I promise to never reach for you again…
