“Just because someone desires you, it does not mean that they value you.”
Ladies, stop in your tracks. Read the above quote again. Let it resonate in your mind.
I am sure this sounds familiar. A daily snap-chat. Maybe a date with this man every week or two.
You are always one text away from receiving a compliment. He is always there when you need to vent. You tell your friends all about him.
But suddenly, you have five Holiday Party invitations and you invite him to join. But he can’t come.
Then it hits you like a ton of bricks: You are not dating. In fact, you realize that he is doing nothing to keep you. You’re just there.
He desires you, but he does not value you. But ladies here is a news flash for you.
If you feel he is treating you casually, it’s because you let him. And if you find yourself questioning whether or not he values you, you already know the answer. He doesn’t.
And sure, it hurts to think that he is treating you as a lower value than you really are. But here is the thing.
You cannot control how is treating you, but you can make the decision about whether to deal with it or to go. Whether to say something or to accept it.
If you are expecting me to write about how all the blame is on him, you’ve come to the wrong place. I am not going to be one of your girlfriends telling you what you want to hear, I am going to tell you what you need to hear.
It’s you. You are allowing him to treat you this way.
And, there is clearly something beneath the surface and within you that continues to allow him to treat you as a lower value woman.
I want you to close your eyes for a minute and imagine the ideal man. But first, remember this: There is no perfect man, no perfect relationship, and no perfect life. There are, however, standards that you as a woman are allowed to maintain for how you want to be treated. Ok. So this ideal man, how does he treat you? Do you even have to question your relationship status? The answer is probably not. In fact, not only does this man admire your beauty, intelligence, and everything else that makes you who you are, he doesn’t just speak the words. He shows you that he wants to keep you through his actions. With this ideal man, there is no false sense of security. This man wants to be with you.
Now back to reality. So if you know how you deserve to be treated, why are you constantly making excuses for the way he treats you? Why do you justify his behavior? Look, I am sure you may like him. You may even love him. But it is you, and only you, that is lowering your self-worth because you are afraid of losing him. But here is the sad truth. You can’t lose him, because you don’t even have him.
Here is my tip for you. Try having an attitude change. Set your bar high. Keep to your convictions. If you start to show that you value yourself more, he will know your worth, too. And you know what else? He will want to keep you.
