I have given myself away too easily in the past.
I have sacrificed, made excuses for, and turned a blind eye. I have shut down my inner voice and told myself to let this one thing slide…and that other thing…and that one, too.
He didn’t mean to hurt me. He didn’t know how his actions affect me.
I am the more mature of the two. I can handle a few upsets without a fight. I can put on a good face.
He is a guy, and they’re all stupid. He didn’t know any better.
So, I let myself be passive. By remaining silent, I let myself become a doormat, and in the end? I got my heart fucking broken.
Never again.
After the last heartbreak, I decided to never go down that road. After the last time of having my heart ripped out by the callous cruelty of a selfish guy who didn’t give a damn about my feelings, I vowed to never let my heart ache so pointlessly again.
As much as I'd like to blame the guy, it wasn't his fault. Not really.
It was wholly mine. For I let him believe I was a laid-back person that all which he did didn't bother me. But it did and in truth? I'm not a low maintenance kind of girl.
I am not laid back. I am not the 'cool girlfriend.’
I am hormonal, angsty, and quick-tempered. I need my coffee first thing in the morning, and I swear like a sailor. I get hot-headed in traffic and I loathe being late. I need food at regular intervals throughout the day, and I need sex nearly every day.
I am high maintenance, I am picky, and I am a force to be reckoned with.
So to all the future fellas who want to conquer this beast? Be forewarned because I am not the kind of girl who doesn’t get a call back. I am not the type of girl to grin and bear it.
If I don’t think something’s right: it’s not. And I won’t let any of you act like a troll around me. You’re not going to grow up, you’re not going to change on a whim.
You’re going to have to step your game up if you want me to be your woman. I deserve the best, and I’m going to demand for it.
I am strong and beautiful and clever. I can be stubborn and pig-headed and a little too rash.
I am genuinely thoughtful and generous. I will take care of you when you are sick or beaten down. I will love you on your worse days, but you need to be there on mine. Only then will I truly be yours.
If you can handle that? Then I can promise you one of the best adventures of your life, and it will come in the shape of my face.
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