Why are there so many self-imposed rules about love? Hundreds upon hundreds of articles, from how fast you can fall in love with someone to the right and wrong way of professing your love.
We take all these opinions and “rules??? into account and let it govern the very thing that itself has no rules and knows no limits. We question our hearts and ourselves constantly when it comes to love, completely forgetting what love truly is.
Love is a gift. Plain and simple.
Whether you are the giver or the receiver doesn’t matter. From an early age, we are taught to give for the sole purpose of giving, not out of expecting anything in return. So why then, do we treat love any differently?
I was in a relationship where I felt the need to bite my tongue for three and a half years. Three and a half years of wanting to tell the man that I was with “I love you??? out loud, and never once doing so.
Why?
Because he hadn’t said it to me. I felt it, I constantly battled the urge to tell him, and I said nothing. All because he hadn’t said it to me yet, and for some reason, I thought that meant I couldn’t say it to him.
I essentially hid a part of who I was for over three years, and at the end of the day, all I felt was pain over the walls I built around myself.
The fear of loving someone and them not loving you back is very much real, I understand that. As is our nature to second guess our feelings for others. Especially when those feelings come on incredibly strong and fast.
Whether they love you back, however, doesn’t matter. Whether it took you only a month to fall in love with the person, or it took you a year, it’s all inconsequential.
I am utterly terrified of love and all that it means. The unrequited love, the pain, the heartbreak. Allowing yourself to be open and vulnerable to someone, knowing full well that they have the power to hurt you if you allow yourself to nestle them into your heart.
Those things won’t change the fact you love them, though. So why try to pretend that you don’t feel what you do?
One of the greatest gifts you can give someone is your love, and telling them that you love them is an extension of that. It shouldn’t be said because you want to hear it said back to you, or because you need some kind of validation yourself.
You should say it when you feel it, when you mean it, and whenever you damn well feel ready to. Without expectation or terms attached.
It might sound cliché, but you never know what tomorrow will hold and what chances you will get. Do you want to live your entire life, wondering if someone knew how you felt about them? That even if it didn’t last, or wasn’t meant for forever, that you held them in your heart and really, absolutely loved them?
I am a creature of words. They uplift me, inspire me, and make me feel whole. I want nothing more than to be told I am loved and feel that amazing, warm glow pulsating through my veins.
I won’t let that desire control me, though. I won’t let the overwhelming waves of emotion relentlessly crash against my chest while I try to keep it contained until I’m given my longing first.
If I love someone, I will tell them. Often and without reservation.
My mother, my grandparents, my son, my best friend, my boyfriend; none are exempt.
I will never tell someone I love them if I don’t mean it. In my life, I have said it to my family, a few close friends, and three romantic partners. I make sure I genuinely feel love, not some charade of it, before expressing it to those who have gained it.
Still, my love isn’t finite, there is no need for me to contain it as if it were. If the people I love also love me in return, then that is pure magic. If not, that is perfectly acceptable too. Because I love them for who they are, and my love does not lose or gain value by the absence of their love for me.
When I tell you that I love you, it’s because I do. No ulterior motives, no tricks, nothing needed back. It’s because I want you to know and never have to question how much I care about you. It’s because you’ve touched my heart in a such a way, that I want to give you the greatest gift I have to give.
My love.
