“One day you’re gonna want her. That girl that knew she wasn’t perfect, but tried to be for you. That girl who wanted nothing more than to be there for you, and loving you was the only way she could. The girl who sees your flaws, but values them as much as your strengths. That girl who still can’t bring herself to hate you, even though sometimes you probably deserve it. The girl that should have you, but doesn’t.???
I’m sorry, not because I moved on or because I found happiness again but that because of your decisions we don’t get the future we both should have gotten. Missing out on our late nights just talking, our early mornings acting silly, and the simple moments when we would just be still, are moments missed because of you. If it had been my choice, we would have been together till the end. If it had been my choice, I would have never been forced to move on and find new happiness.
I’m sorry that your “college equals party??? mentality was more important than me. You felt that I would hold you back from making memories you could only make then. That meeting new people meant leaving me behind was an idea that I could never understand but that you would never let go of. While I wanted to make memories with you, you wanted to make them without me, when all you had to realize was that I was never holding you back in the first place.
I’m sorry that you regret your decisions now. That you look back at the time we lost and wish I was there for the moments that were missed. You look back at tough moments that you wished I was holding your hands through. I’m sorry that you’re too late and that even though I will always love you, I will never forget how you pushed me aside; that you told me you loved me yet left me.
Most of all I am sorry that at this moment you are probably questioning if I truly loved you, because if I loved you I’d accept you with open arms, right? That’s how love works, right? No. because if that was the case, you would have never left in the first place. So yes, I loved you and I probably still do, but like when you chose to make a decision that was only right for you, I am going to make a decision that is right for me.
Thank you. Thank you for being my best friend and my first love. Thank you for helping me find my worth and allowing me to realize that I deserve more. I warned you that I was not someone you should have walked away from. My heart was too kind and too scared, but I let you in anyways. My heart gave you a chance and you took it, I am sorry that because of your decisions I am now too scared to ever give you that chance again.
