Some of the longest and toughest roads I've ever traveled down were filled with infidelities and betrayals. They were filled with some of the saddest love stories and the most heartbreaking experiences, that no person should ever have to encounter.
And unfortunately, I somehow had to endure them all.
So, I promised myself I’d never fall in love ever again. It turns out though, that all the great loves of my life were just lessons and stepping stones that lead me to my real one and only – you.
Unexpectedly, you whisked into my life like a soft midsummer breeze. I felt it happening and it was the first time in my life that I couldn’t control it. My connection with you ran deeply and passionately and our chemistry was like something out of a movie. It was otherworldly.
For the first time in my life, I just felt good, all thanks to you.
But maybe your road up until you met me had been paved with just as much heartache and betrayal as mine. Maybe your guard was up too high to be knocked down by anyone. Maybe you just weren’t ready.
Because there was no convincing you that you’re the only person I’d ever want to face the unknown with, or that you were the person I’d been waiting my whole life for.
It wasn’t because we were incompatible, or that we didn’t share interests, or that we didn’t have the same intentions.
The problem was that we were all of those things and you weren’t certain how to proceed. I'll admit it was a lot and suddenly. It felt almost impractical to you, to fall in love with me so quickly when we were going to face nothing but challenges.
I promised up and down I’d never leave, no matter what obstacles got in our way. I vowed to give you my all despite any sacrifices that may mean I’d have to make.
But that wasn’t enough for you, your past has scarred you so deeply that there was no getting away from it. And to protect your heart you did what you had to and you let me go.
And because I love you so much, I’m trying to fulfill your wishes. I’m trying to stay gone. But I don't dare unlove you, because worse than any heartbreak I’ve ever felt, is the twinge in my heart each and every time I try not to love you.
I want to give you your space and your time and let you go, too. But I keep clinging to the hope that we’ll meet again someday, even if as only friends. I keep trying to let you go, but it’s destroying me.
For your sake, I’m attempting to convince myself this was all an illusion, that we didn’t have the connection we’re both fighting. But, I know I've never felt something so real before.
I’m trying not to worry about you or think about you every second of every day. I’m trying not to wonder what you’re up to, or if you’re happy, or if you're okay.
With every ounce of my soul, greater than every wish I’ve ever made, on every single shooting star, I want you to be so happy. You deserve to be happier than even I could make you, because, simply put, you’re amazing.
And if the only way to truly make you happy is to let you go, then I’ll try like hell to honor your wishes because you deserve everything that life has to offer.
I can endure one final heartbreak at the hands of the one man in this world who really and truly loves me if it means you can find your happiness.