Letting go – is there anything more difficult? Whether it's a possession, a lover, a relationship, a home, a belief, a dream, a habit or grief, it can be really, really hard – damn near impossible sometimes.
Five months ago the "love of my life" and I called it quits. We called it quits because he has a prescription drug problem…..
And he was horrible to my kids……they all hated him….
And he was controlling……….
And he screamed a lot…………and smirked when he knew it upset me……
And he hated my friends………….most weren't allowed at MY house…..
And he didn't work or contribute financially to the household…….
And if one little thing was out of place in any room, he would lose his shit………..
Seems like enough reasons to let go, doesn't it?
But yet, I struggle to let go. I struggle because in between all of those times, we had some great moments. And unfortunately, those moments seem to stick out in my mind. That is, until I interact with him and he shows a teeny, tiny bit of the horrible side.
My friends don't understand why I'm taking so long to let go. To be honest, sometimes neither do I. I do know that with each interaction, I feel better about the decision to remove him from my life. As I've gotten stronger, I've been able to find the nerve to say some things to him that I couldn't before (out of fear that he'd break up with me).
It does seem backwards to me (and most everyone who knows me). How can you let go by still holding on ever so loosely?
I don't know why, but it seems to be working for me. Right or wrong.
If you'd like to read about the breakup, I've included a link to it.
http://daphnes-delights.com/2016/03/16/the-breakup/
If you have any advice on letting go, please feel free to share it with me!
Peace & love!
