I tried so hard to make you happy; to be there for you when you were falling apart and you needed help finding all the pieces. I tried to be your support, your shoulder to cry on, and your comfort.
I even tried to change who I was, something I should have never had to do. But it just wasn’t enough.
When I started putting my needs first, you fell apart. You felt threatened I think, like I was replacing you in my heart. But I wasn’t; my heart can hold more than one person close. You didn’t want to believe that though.
No matter how hard I tried to prove to you that you were special to me and that I still cared for you greatly, it just wasn’t enough.
You started treating me like I was no one. Like I was someone you can call on when you need help, and then can just toss aside. You took my heart in your hand and squeezed until it shriveled up and there was nothing left.
Did you even care about the damage you were doing to me? Did you care how much I cried until no more tears came out? How I racked my brain trying to think of a way I could have somehow fixed things until it drove me crazy?
You didn’t even try to fight, to help find a solution. After everything. It was over just as fast as it started.
I had to make the difficult choice: to leave before I let you pull me down into a darkness that I would never be able to escape.
It crushed my heart to leave because I didn’t want to give up, to stop fighting. But I was drowning in a mixture of sadness, anger, and hurt and if I didn’t leave it would have consumed me.
I’m sorry that things had to happen the way they did. I’m sorry that you felt like you had to distance to save yourself.
But I’m not sorry for putting myself first for once. I’m not sorry that I left.
