So I have this friend, and we’ve been friends for a while now. He’s easy to talk to, funny, cute, everything you would normally like in a guy….and I do.
He doesn’t know it yet, but I’ve liked him for a while now. I don’t know why I haven’t told him this. It could be because we live a couple hours away from each other, and I don’t know how it would work. It could be because I’m afraid if I do tell him and he doesn’t feel the same, it could ruin the friendship.
The only thing I do know, is that I’m scared to. I’m scared to tell him how I really feel. Why? Why do I feel this way?
Seriously, I feel ridiculous saying that. It doesn’t make any sense, I’ve never had this problem before. Normally I can go up to a guy, tell him how I feel, and handle the reaction well, no matter how it went.
So why is it hard this time? It’s so hard!
I’m still trying to figure it out right this minute. The possibilities are endless. I could tell him, he could reciprocate well, and we could live happily ever after. I could tell him, he could not feel the same, but we will continue having our friendship.
Rejection. It is probably one of the worst feelings you can get. What if he rejects me, and then our friendship gets awkward, and then we hardly ever talk? Out off all these possibilities, there are more bad ones than good. That, that right there Is what’s holding me back.
Eventually though, I will have to tell him. I can tell that everyday, every time we talk, every message, I am falling for him more. Soon I won’t be able to hold it in, it’ll slip, I’ll send the wrong emoji or something. Instead of a normal smiley face I’ll send the heart-eyed one and it’ll be over. I’ll confess my feelings and wait for those typing dots to appear.
Either way it goes, no matter how I tell him, I know I have to take the chance. Life is full of chances, risks, a sequence of events that make our day to day life interesting. If I don’t say anything then I will live in the “what if” world forever, and that’s not a very fun place to be at.
So, I will tell him. (Maybe he will read this, and figure it out before I even have to). No matter what happens, I am willing to take the jump, because you never know if you can fly if you don’t try.
