” Some birds are not meant to be caged, that’s all. Their feathers are too bright, their songs too sweet and wild. So you let them go, or when you open the cage to feed them they somehow fly out past you. And the part of you that knows it was wrong to imprison them in the first place rejoices, but still, the place where you live is that much more drab and empty for their departure.”
-Stephen King
You weren’t meant to be caged, to be held down. You were everything, and nothing all at the same time. I was blessed enough to know you, blessed enough to love you. You were everything to me, but you were nothing with me.
I let you go for you. It wasn’t easy, it still isn’t easy. I never stop looking at the phone hoping you’d reach out. My heart still skips a beat when the doorbell rings, hoping it’s you showing up like you used to.
I need you to know letting you go wasn’t easy for me. Letting you go wasn’t a choice, it was more of the fact that I knew I didn’t have a choice. I could no longer hold on to someone that I knew didn’t want to be held on to…so I had to let you go.
I knew you would have stayed. I knew you were the type of man that wouldn’t leave me heart broken. You would have married me. We would have kids, and that life would’ve been good, but you deserve so much more than just ‘good’. You deserved so much more than settling for my own happiness.
I loved you, God knows I still do, but I let you go for you. I knew you always wondered what this World held for you. I knew you were eager to find out your purpose, your plan. You strived for greatness, and I was holding you back. I believe you loved me, I believe I could have been the one – maybe in a different place, a different time, a different life…I could have made you happy. We could have made this work.
But you were too much man for me, or maybe I just wasn’t enough woman for you. You set goals so high, that I knew you’d reach if I set you free. You had this whole life ahead of you and i wasn’t quite sure where I fit in. If I saw a place for me, maybe I would have stayed.
I knew I was the first woman you ever truly loved, the only woman you had ever pictured a future with. I could tell after time that there was something missing for you, you didn’t quite see ‘us’ like I saw us. As the conversations got shorter, the fights got bigger. I knew you would of fixed things anyway you could, because you loved me. But I couldn’t allow it.
I couldn’t hold you back any longer. I couldn’t tie you down to a life you weren’t fully committed on loving. You were missing out on so much in this World…sacrificing your happiness to give me mine. And as much as you’d deny it, you knew I wasn’t quite right for you. It took me to realize this in order to let you go find the one who is right for you.
So please know this wasn’t easy…it wasn’t easy letting you go to find your perfect person. It wasn’t easy saying goodbye to my perfect person. Your happiness meant so much more than mine, because you truly deserve all the happiness the World can give you.
You deserve to not feel like you settled. You deserve to feel the happiness from the top of your head to the tips of your toes. You deserve the kind of love that I felt for you. The kid that awakens the soul. The kind that they talk about in the chick flick romances that you hate so much. You deserve so much more than this, so much more than ordinary.
Letting you go wasn’t easy…letting you go wasn’t a choice. I let you go for you. And knowing you will one day find the one that keeps you feeling alive, in some strange way makes me feel alive too. Because no matter where we are in life, no matter where you wander, my happiness is you finding your happiness.
