Making a baby is one of the hardest things I have ever done! Trying to get pregnant can be an emotional roller coaster – especially when you’re struggling with infertility, Not getting pregnant when you really want to can cause depression, anxiety and grief. These are all things I have experienced and continue to experience. Infertility is very common today and the struggles are unbearable! This is a very sensitive topic and rarely do we ever hear people talk about this ongoing sadness for so many people.
At a very young age, I was experiencing unbearable pain and never understood what was going on with my body. Being so young you trust in your doctors diagnosis and follow through on what they tell you is best for you and can help. In my case i found this out to be false…unfortunately i didn’t find out until years later…
My doctor prescribed me with birth control at the age of 12, this was in order to help with the pain i was experiencing, As the years went by I started to really pay attention to my body and knew there was more going on then i was told. I took it upon myself to seek further help and was finally referred to a gynecologist after pleading to my doctor for two years. Upon my arrival to my gynecologist in a span of 30 minutes he knew exactly what was going on. My doctor diagnosed me with endometriosis, for those of you who don’t know what that is, it is bits of tissue that lines the uterus and grow on other pelvic organism such as ovaries or Fallopian tubes, this can cause trouble getting pregnant and infertility.
I was only 19 years old when my doctor had informed me that this is in fact what i had. At 19 years old i’m being told that i will most likely will never be able to have children and that if i had any chance of conceiving it would be through In Vitro Fertilization and i need to start to procedure immediately as things were deteriorating. Before i knew it i was being sent of to Calgary, Alberta to see fertility specialists. After endless amounts of being poked and probed, the fertility doctor said that i needed to undergo IVF within the next couple of months.
No one every really explains the emotional, mental and physical demand your body goes through when you are undergoing IVF. Going through this procedure definitely took a toll on my relationship with my significant other and we struggled through it all, id love to say we got through it all and stuck together but unfortunately in this situation that’s not the case. We all wish for a happy ending but sometimes life has other plans. overall we spent around $40,000.00. Now i bet you’re asking, well did it work? The truth is, no it did not work. Two 20 year olds, trying to have a baby and spending thousands of dollars and getting endless loans just for it to not work was absolutely devastating.
Throughout this entire process all i did was lose hope and i really want to give up, i had had enough and i couldn’t put myself nor my partner through the pain any longer. In the end we decided to stop all treatment as we had been trying for two years at this point and it was now time to take a break, breathe and trust in our faith. I want to encourage you to never give up and trust in your body, you know your body best and let me tell you it was the best decision i ever made because not a month later we got pregnant…
Believe in yourself and never be afraid to talk about it, this is something a lot of people are struggling with and its time we have a voice and encourage others not to give up.
Love always
xoxo