I can guarantee that you’ve met him. He’s the one who smiles at everyone at the coffee shop you stop by every morning. He’s two cubicles down from you at your office who always makes sure you've had lunch. He’s in your class at college and is always happy to share his notes. In actuality, he’s everywhere.
He doesn’t have some bright red t-shirt to find him in a crowd, nor does he have some extreme personality that sets off alarms during the first conversation. He’s quite normal really, he just looks at life a little differently.
He's the nice guy.
Maybe it's because he's creative. Most men who are into something creative like art or music are more sensitive and tuned into their emotions. Or maybe it's because he's a “dreamer.” He spends most of his time dreaming of how to make things better. Maybe he read a few too many fairytales growing up, and always wanted to be a gorgeous girl's Prince Charming.
He wants to treat the right girl like a princess.
Unfortunately, the stigma of “nice guys finish last” is true in many areas of life. It’s true, most girls go for the more mysterious guys and the “bad boys.” They're edgy, cool, and don't care about anything. But it all comes crashing down when she realizes that includes her.
So why do nice guys finish last?
It's not the kind compassionate side of the nice guy that turns people off. It’s the lack of confidence and the fear of rejection that comes from his hopeless romanticism. This is not simply in the realm of relationships, it’s in every area of life.
He just cares too much, and that makes him get lost in the crowd.
Despite all of this, it’s a gift. But like any gift, if you don’t know how to use is correctly it becomes useless. A nice guy without confidence is the equivalent to a doormat, serving a purpose for someone but always being walked on and never lifted up and given the love he needs.
So continue to be the nice guy, but do so with confidence. Continue to hold the door open for women, buy her flowers, help old people cross the street, and spread whatever kindness you feel compelled to. But just make sure you remember to be assertive and tell people how it is.
When nice guys find their confidence, they can do anything.