Dear ____________________,
We have known each other for quite some time now. Whether you knew it or not, you were by my side during some of the toughest moments of my life. You were my first love, and that makes you hard to let go. You were not only my first love you were also my first true best friend, this makes letting go that much harder. Though it may not have seemed like much, I trusted you and let you in more than I have with anybody else. I truly believe that the time was not right for us, and at this point I now know it never will be. When we first met, I was young and afraid. Vulnerability seemed like a weakness to me, still does sometimes, but that is why it took so long to let you in. When I did, and when it hit me that you knew you me so well, that you could understand me without me having to explain myself, that honestly freaked me out. I was not ready for that at that point in my life. I cared about you, I loved you, but at that point I made a decision for me, for my own sanity. And even though I could not explain it and couldn’t make sense of it, I knew I had to let you go.
With that being said I need you to know that I in no way intend to try to get back with you, and that even though I still and may always love you, that I have no intent to pursue anything else with you. But I also need you to know that seeing you with others is hard for me, so if I act crazy or seem like I am not over you, it is because seeing you happy with someone else reminds me of how it used to be me who put a smile on your face. Things didn’t end well between us, and I hurt you in ways that I deeply deeply regret. But I am paying for that now, because I too am hurting. Sometimes it feels like maybe I didn’t impact you as much as you impacted me, like you were able to let go of me so effortlessly. That hurts, it really does. Also, when we talk you seem to be completely disconnected, I try to explain where I am coming from and your response always makes it seem like you are breaking up with me, like I did with you once. This may not make any sense, but even though I am hurting, even though I love and miss you I swear I am not trying to get back with you. I don’t need you to tell me you’re sorry it didn’t work out, I need you tell me how you felt post break up, when we stopped talking. I need to know what I once meant, so I know you cared, so that I can feel like I am not alone in this.
7 years was a long time, sorry I still care too much. But I probably never will stop. No matter where life takes us, I will always care for you. Even if I never see you again. I hope you find your happiness, I hope you live a long, fulfilling life. If you ever need anything, you can always count on me.
Love you always,
___________________________
