I wish I could say that I don't blame you. I wish I could say that I couldn't put my finger on when things fell apart.
But I've never been a good liar…. unlike you.
Everything that you said and did, no matter how much it meant to me then, it means less than nothing now.
I hate that I can't help but think of what could've been… me and you. I honestly thought this was the one thing that I could count on.
And you know that I've never been one to rely on people. Never really let another in. You knew that.
You knew exactly what I've been put through, the torture of my past, and you went ahead and did whatever your heart desired and didn't look back.
That's what hurts the most.
I put so much time and effort into you, I gave you so much attention and affection, and this is what I get in return.
You never had any intention of sticking around. That would've been nice to know earlier on.
I don't regret what happened, but I do regret taking so long to figure it all out. To understand that you were never going to be the one.
The worst part of it all, you just let me go like I was nothing to you. You didn't even put up a fight, you just let me walk away.
And that hurts like hell.
But it's not my fault. I'm not staying up dissecting our old texts, trying to find where things went south. Because it's not me, it's you.
I hope you look for me in every other girl you pursue. And I hope you never find quite what you're looking for.
One day you're going to want me back and I hope when you do, I have everything you never gave me.
And just so you know, I'm not just going to forget what you did to me, this pain isn't going away anytime soon. And I genuinely hate you for that.
But what I can thank you for is the lesson you taught me. I guess that's all you really were… just a lesson. Something that taught me how to pick myself back up.
You reminded me of what I deserve, and how it's so much more than someone like you.
I wish it would have all gone down differently, and that I could look you in the eyes and tell you that I forgive you. But the truth is, I don't and I don't know if I ever will.
But whatever the answer is, thank you for showing me that even though it feels like the worst thing, walking away is something that you do after you learn how.
