Sometimes you have to lose yourself, hit absolute rock bottom to discover whom you want to be and what you want in life.
Sometimes what you think is breaking you down is the thing that is breaking you free.
And sometimes it takes just that, hitting rock bottom. I’ve noticed a pattern in not only my life, but my relationships as well.
Time and time again, I found myself wanting to fix someone, trying to save them. Constantly giving bits and pieces of myself to people that don’t deserve a second of my time.
It took me a long time to realize that this is not what I deserve and that it's not my fault that these relationships never worked.
So I’m breaking free of that toxic pattern. I’m taking the time to find myself, to better myself.
It happened almost like the flick of a switch, I woke up one morning and decided this is not what I wanted for myself, or my future. I realized I deserved so much more than the mediocre love I was receiving day in and day out.
Deciding I didn’t want to be the stranger I’d see in the mirror completely drained of life, the girl that once had so much light and hunger for adventure and just everything that life has to offer was the biggest and hardest decision I have come to face yet.
Don’t let me fool you, it wasn’t easy.
People seem to think that the most painful thing you will ever encounter is losing someone you value, but I would have to disagree, the truth is that the most painful thing you can lose is yourself in the process of valuing someone too much and forgetting that you’re special too.
Because of that, I saw that it’s okay to walk out of someone’s life if you feel like you don’t belong in it anymore.
So I did just that: I left because I’m worth so much more than he made me feel.
And over time I started to the world in a whole new perspective. I found myself falling in love with everything again, and most importantly myself.
Hitting rock bottom truly was the best thing to happen to me, I only understood myself after I destroyed myself, and in the process of healing, I found who I really was.
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