What qualities are important in a life partner? What does a woman look for in a man? Sadly, often I hear, I just want to marry a man with money, who can support me and take care of me. Think back to when we were little, before our judgments were clouded by society we would give adjectives and characteristics of people with value.
In today's society, you hear women and sadly young girls these days say time, “I want to marry a man with money.” Interesting idea, feels almost logical given today’s measures of society. In my opinion, this statement is alarmingly shortsighted. Marrying someone used to mean committing to spending the rest of your life with one person. This was meant to be a one-time decision, and the only thing you view important about him is that he posses a large amount of money? When I was little, oh who am I kidding, even now, I envision my very own version of Prince Charming. When I am trying to find the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, I need someone with more qualities than money. What happened to integrity? What happened to drive? What happened passion? I mean the list could go on and on. I have come down to the idea that, I want to marry a man who both loves what he does and is good at what he does.
A man who only loves what he does, will surely be disappointed often and over time will lack self-confidence as a result. Similar to a toxic relationship, where he is willing to do whatever in his power to keep things going. This man, who is afraid of change even though it is obvious to all of those around him, will not be able to keep up with the economy and the times. He is not a forward thinker. While I applaud his undying devotion and loyalty, this man will constantly be a disappointment to himself and as a result, a disappointment to you. There is nothing less appealing than a man who does not see himself as a man. A man who only loves what he does is so blinded by love that he blurs the line between wrong and right. He is willing to throw it all away, and take that second mortgage on his home or that loan he can’t repay even though it is clearly the wrong move. He is unwilling to change and adapt. He is unable to think logically. He then begins to lower his standards, makes exceptions, and begins to loose who is he and what he values. When this happens, he is no longer the man you fell for. He becomes less of himself and less sexually appealing. While he will be forever loyal to you, he will be unable to make the right moves for himself, and in doing so your relationship will suffer as well.
A man who is only good at what he does, may be incapable of chivalry and may only act based on who he wants to be perceived as. In businessmen especially, you have to wonder, are the behaving this way to get what they want or do they truly feel that way. Or a man who has made great success in his job, but not lasting connections in their lives, many of these men are egotistical. While confidence is a beautiful thing, over confidence is just as horrible as a man who lacks self worth. A man who is only good at what he does, lacks passion and empathy. You will be unable to keep an emotional connection with this man because he does not act on emotions, ever. He is only acting as a means to an end. I never envisioned myself as a means to an end. I imagine unwavering love, someone I never want to be without. Sure, arguments and hard times, but never a moment or a thought that I would trade it all away.
Now, lets get back to money. I think money is relative to a point. Anyone who loves what they do and is good at what they do, will always get by enough financially. If you have endured the heartaches and successes of loving what you do, you know how to be a fighter. If you are good at what you do, you can think logically and think ideas through. This man will always land on his feet, because he knows no other way. He knows how to change and adapt his plan to make it work.
The idea of wanting to marry a man for his money seems so disappointing to me. He may be the richest, or he may only make enough, but a man who loves what he does and is good at what he does will possess all the great qualities needed for me to want to spend my life with someone.
Our culture has degraded into one where men marry women for their looks, and women marry men for their money. The idea of marriage used to terrify me, to think one day I am going to envision spending the rest of my life with one person? In this society where my values don't match up with the majority, this seemed impossible. I used to think I needed to have hobbies in common and degrees, I thought they had to suit me on paper. I now think you just have to find two people who want to coexist with realistic goals and true passion.
Two people who have similar drives and goals. Two people who at the end of the day might not have the same hobbies and strengths but who have the same values at their core.