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Maybe I Just Have to Accept that We Weren't Meant to Be

It sucks when my head is constantly filled with the thought of you because I don’t even know whether or not you are thinking of me.

I’m constantly telling myself that maybe I just need to say something differently or act a certain way for a different reaction. Forcing myself to change things because of the fear of letting go of something that could feel like the end of the world.

I find myself laying in my bed every single night wondering why I feel this way and whether or not I should let it all go… funny thing is… God never answers me…. Or maybe I just don’t listen

I replay your favourite song just to think about the beginning when everything seemed so perfect, telling myself that nothing has changed and that nothing needs to change.

Telling myself that you slowly drifting away is normal and wondering why I cannot seem to find a way to fix this.

I don’t think there’s a way to fix this because there’s nothing to fix in the first place. I have to really contemplate the idea that maybe we were never previously fixed and our broken pieces just keep dwelling around.. refusing to find one another.

It baffles me how two souls can so easily find each other yet scares me that they can so easily let go whenever they feel strain. It’s not easy finding someone you can be comfortable so losing that comfort is extremely scary.

I cannot begin to imagine how heartbroken a person must feel when watching the person you have given your heart to effortlessly walk out of your life as if it meant nothing.

They always say that every bad experience is never wasted by is worth a lesson learned but what if your not ready to accept the lesson?  

What if I wasn’t meant to be yours and you were never meant to be mine? What if we just crossed paths to help each other heal….

Why does it seem so complicated?

I never know whether you are here to stay or whether or not I am part of your next chapter or only worth a page. I hate being perplexed but then again nobody said love was easy

I feel the heavy weight of my heart consuming my entire body as if it cannot calm itself in this wave of love

I guess I will never know how you truly feel, I will never realize what could have been but in the end I can say that I tried my best and you didn't try at all.

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