Falling in love with you was easy, you stole my heart from the very beginning. Just know that I will push you away more than once, so some things I just want you to keep in mind are…
I’ve been through a lot.
I’ve had my heart broken in the worst ways. I’ve been stabbed in the back, lied to, manipulated, and treated horribly. These experiences have changed me. Sometimes I’m not sure how to show love because I’ve been taken advantage of so many times.
I’m scared.
I’m terrified. You’re so perfect, so amazing. What’s going to make you not wake up one day and change your mind about me? I can’t allow myself to get hurt again.
I’m trying.
I’m trying so hard. I don’t want to make this hard on you. I want to give you my all, but sometimes I just can’t. This is a constant battle that I fight within myself every single day. Please be patient with me.
This is when I need you the most.
When I push you away, I secretly want you to pull me closer. Show me how much you care. Reassure me that you’re in this for the long run, and if by any chance you’re not, tell me. Don’t waste my time. I don’t need space. I need you to help me break down these walls that I’ve built over the years.
It’s not you.
It’s nothing that you’ve done, it’s just something that I automatically do to try to protect my heart from being shattered again.
So please, when I push you away, just know that I love you and I’m not doing it on purpose. I am a work in progress, teach me how to love you the way you need to be loved, and listen to the things that I need.
I swear to you, I am worth it. I do know how to love with my whole heart, and I will once I know that you’ll be there to catch me.