My name is Stefany Cordero, and I am a victim of Harassment. For many who know me this may be surprise news but those closer ones have witnessed how hard this has been for me. Before I tell you my story, I want you to know why I am writing this. I am writing this to spread awareness of harassment, to share my story, and most importantly for myself. For the longest time I have been ashamed of this, I never blamed myself for this. However, I was very embarrassed to be going through something like this and I can finally speak up about this and openly share my story.
It all started in 2009, I was in relationship with this fella. I never considered it much because I was only 14 years old. A few years later he broke up with me. I cannot lie to you I was upset, I don’t know a girl who hasn’t been upset after being dumped by a guy. However, I quickly got over it because truthfully I was never happy and I was young and didn’t know how to get out of this relationship hence why it lasted 3 years. Now to my surprise he took this break up a lot harder than I…confusing right? A month later when I didn’t even remember his name; he came back, typical guy I know. I remember saying no in every possible way but that wasn’t okay with him. After I constantly rejected him he showed me a very ugly side I had never seen. He would message me and call me repeatedly, only to yell at me for not getting back together or telling me I was a slut and whore. I remember these messages and calls putting me into tears, and wondering what happened to the nice guy I knew? I did what most would do and blocked his number and changed my phone number. Sadly this did not stop this guy, he began attacking me through Facebook, Twitter, and even emails. Again I unfriended and blocked this guy, but guess what? That did not stop him, he began making different profiles and even fake profiles to attack me. This went on for a year, I didn’t tell anyone because I was embarrassed I had a relationship with this guy, embarrassed that I was being treated this way, and embarrassed I was allowing him to treat me this way.
In 2013, this guy not only was he messaging me but he began to message a close friend. I remember breaking down crying to her and telling her about how long it been going on for. She comforted me and assured me this was not my fault and it was nothing to be ashamed of. With her help and a lovely local police officer I was able to finally report him and file for harassment. I thought this would be the end of it, I was relieved. Shortly after being told to leave me alone by law enforcement this guy continued. This time around he was not only messaging me but multiple friends, he once sent a friend of mine a text saying he was coming for me at a football game. I remember my entire family attending this football game just so I would be safe, as well as the security having a picture of this guy and keeping an eye out to see if he would show up. Thankfully nothing happened to me that night and I was safe. You would think by then this guy would not be able to be anywhere near me, I thought so too.
After a few months I stopped receiving messages from this guy, at last it had stopped. Jokes on me because it did not. A few months after I graduated high school I again began to receive messages from this guy. At this point I was furious that this was still going on. I expected to put it all past me and go on off to college and not look back. Unfortunately the officer who helped me the first time could not help this time, so I turned to another. I asked if I could get some sort of no contact order or a restraining order. I was asked if he had made direct threats to harm me or physically harmed me in any way. I answered with no just disgusting sexual messages. They just apologized and told me to continue to block him and make my social media private. I gave up, I saw no point in going to the law enforcement. Who i thought was supposed to be there to make me feel safe, they weren’t taking me serious.Again I stopped hearing from him, but didn’t expect it to stay that way. Of course I was right, it was 2014 going on 2015 and I was still receiving these messages. I was annoyed, angry, upset, and lost. I didn’t know who else to go to. 2015 came and ended and I did not hear from him, it was a record I was overly joyed. A year and no messages, now I for sure had hope he would no longer be a problem.
Now 2016 came around, I began noticing him come in to my job often. I couldn’t really do much, I worked at a local grocery store he was bound to show up there sooner or later. Every time I saw him come into that store my heart sank. I was scared and nervous of what he might do. Though thankfully never came close to me. I later received messages from him, he knew about my personal life that I had tried my best to keep between mostly family. I was scared, I looked for help for the 100th time. I went to the women’s shelter and I spoke to a woman who helped victims. I cried my eyes out telling her my story and telling her how scared and how done I was with this situation. She gave me pamphlets on how to be safe, who to call if I was ever in serious danger, and her business card. She told me she truly felt for me but there was not much that could be done because he had not made any recent threats nor harmed me physically. I sat there and cried, cried over the fact that I had to be seriously hurt until someone took my case serious. Now 2016 is coming to an end and I am starting to feel like the boy who cried wolf. I have yet again filed a harassment complaint, asked for a restraining order, and cried my eyes out over this for the 100th time. Only to be continuously told that there isn’t much I can do but to continue to block him, and keep evidence of his disgusting messages. I still cannot wrap my head around that I am supposed to sit here with my arms crossed until I am hurt to be taken seriously. I am not about to give up and let this continue to put me down for the rest of my life. I am not going to continue living in fear that one day this guy may hurt me and have nothing stop him. I will not sit here and have him do this to somebody else. Please take harassment serious and please be aware do not allow them to become the reason for your insecurities and fears like i did.
