I very much enjoy sleeping. I’m sure like most people. My ex DID NOT like people sleeping if he was awake. He’s a morning person I’m a night owl. He cant eat a lot and he is instantly hungry the moment he wakes up. Therefore, I’m woken up and have to eat also (leading to a very cranky me)
Fast forward to when the verbal, emotional , mental abuse kicked in. getting woken up suddenly by screaming coming from next to you because your not awake after he told you 10 minutes ago to wake up, or your phone rang and the number wasn’t saved so who was it, or the dogs chewed up something and you have to get up and clean it. Suddenly sleeping wasn’t enjoyable to me anymore.
Always fighting to stay half awake or jumping awake if he moved in his sleep worried he was getting up to find something to yell at you for. Wanting sex in the middle of the night but heaven forbid you tell him you are tired or are actually sleeping because then that obviously means you had sex with someone else earlier the prior day.
Even months after being away from you I still have nightmares. Flashbacks of you shaking me awake or yelling in my face to get up because something upset you. jumping out of bed and automatically running, only to stop at the door of my bedroom because I realize I’m actually in the safety of a home that’s not with you.
Almost a year and my nightmares of you are almost gone. And I still cant believe there was a time that I thought I couldn’t live without you.
