“It’s okay if you were doing something illegal I’m not going to arrest you for that. Just tell me what happened…”
August, the time school starts again, which means it’s time to party. Although my night didn’t exactly go the way I planned or well even wanted it to. But that’s what happens when boys take the situation into their own hands because they don’t like the word “NO”.
I got the “Just come hangout. It’ll be fun I promise. It’s Friday night nobody’s staying in.” from a guy that I didn’t know that I had met a few times before so I thought “well why not! It’s Friday and he can’t be that bad if he’s friends with him!” but I was terribly mistaken. He said he wanted to cuddle and I had said no I told him I didn’t want anything to happen (I was still seeing my ex boyfriend kind of) and that I would only stay for a little bit. So he came and picked me up. I texted my best friend so she knew I was going to be going out and what not (safety first right?). Wrong so wrong. Even she couldn’t save me from what was about to happen.
He brings me a drink and in that moment I became the dumb blonde that took a drink from a stranger. Well needless to say I started feeling sick and told him I wanted to leave and he said to follow him where he said I could lie down it was a guest room so I did and fell asleep But it wasn’t a guest room it was his room. Now I don’t know how much time passed from me passing out to me starting to wake up but it happened and I was groggy as hell intact I thought it was a bad dream.
My hands were tied to the head bored and he was going down on me. Like I said y’all I thought it was a dream. Well the next morning my clothes were on and I felt a little funny and I thought it was from getting high and drinking (I had never smoke pot before that night either) so he took me home I showered and went on to my friends house where he texted me telling me how much fun he had that night before. In that moment my life stopped. He brushed it off by saying I was giggling and awake and that I wanted him to do those things to me. My nightmare from the previous night became real….
In fact that wasn’t a bad dream at all. He said that because I never said no he said it was okay and that he didn’t do anything I didn’t want him to. UMMMM HELLO!!! I stated in text messages before going I didn’t want to do anything sexual. So the next Monday after collecting my thoughts I asked my friend to go to the police department with me and she did so. She’s a god send. I picked up the phone to call dispatch and they got a little annoyed asking if it happened within city limits or if it happened on campus because not they straight up didn’t want to deal with a girl that had too many at a party.
Once that got settled I was called back to the investigation room. The cop came back and started talking I started crying. I had never felt more violated in my life aside from the first time I was raped. He tried having sympathy he really did but he had said it wasn’t his area. And then he said “there’s not much we can do since you don’t know his last name or his address”. And the look, anybody who’s been through this knows that exactly what I’m talking about. I honestly felt so stupid and I felt like it was my fault even though they have to say “this isn’t your fault” but you can totally tell they think otherwise.
Nothing ever happened to him in fact I see him all the time at Walmart or at restaurants and it honestly makes me sick to my stomach to know people like him get to be free. Yeah I had a SANE exam done because it’s protocol but nothing will come of it other than proof I’d been touch there. He lives his life carefree and like nothing happened. I on the other hand have a drinking problem that’s now being controlled thanks to therapy. But it’s still not right. Something needs to be done. I wouldn’t wish this pain upon anyone. So if this has happened to you know you’re not alone and go get help.
