My son was born at 32 weeks + 3 days. And while that’s early, it’s not as early as others. Here’s where comparing to others gets tricky – something I am really struggling with.
We had it easy.
Compared to a birth at less than 32 weeks or with more complications than me or my son, we had it easy. We are fortunate that he was “only” 7.5 weeks early. But the experience in the NICU was very traumatic for me and somehow comparing to someone who is struggling more than me makes me feel wimpy. Why am I having such a hard time getting past the NICU when others had it far worse? How can I say the NICU was hard when I can see that others have a much harder road?
We had it worse.
So this comparing to others problem goes the other way too. When I see a baby who was still a preemie but maybe only had a 1 week stay in the NICU, or whatever, I find myself saying that their experience couldn’t have been “as traumatic” as mine. I am jealous and envious and all kinds of emotions that also leave me feeling guilty.
We are the same.
I am learning that comparing to others ultimately hurts me the most. The fact of the matter is – we all have a story. And it’s traumatic for us all. We experience the same fear of having a preemie, the stressful moments in the NICU, the trepidation about what tomorrow might bring, the guilt, the sadness, the regret, the anger and all the rest.
And we are all trying to get past it and move to a brighter place.
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