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Okay So Maybe I Am Not Mother of the Year

My daughter was asking for True this morning, which right now is the only thing on Netflix that she wants to watch. But hey, I am not complaining because at least unlike Finding Dory, Zootopia,Trolls and Sing, I cannot recite every word.

I am getting the show ready and she starts singing, “I’m happy” in her high pitch singing voice that she has not mastered. I responded with” you’re happy”? Which prompted an “I love you” followed by a meaningful hug.

Now every parent knows just how great it feels when your child finally can repeat the words I love you because lets face it, this is the phrase we say the most. But the feeling it brought me today was just so much better than the usual I love you moments we share.

This moment was so genuine. It wasn’t rehearsed or forced; it just came so naturally to her. So in that very moment I knew that I was succeeding as a parent. At least to her expectation and that is all that matters.

Being a parent is by far the most rewarding, controversial, demanding thing you will do in your life. There are all these expectations formed around you on what is right and what is wrong. Some people form those expectations for you and some you form yourself.

Before I was a mom I totally planned out exactly what type of mom I was going to be. I was going to: document everything, breastfeed, allow no technology, no pacifier, no bottle past one years old, have play dates all the time, potty trained no later than two. I was going to avoid fast food, limit the sugary juice, getting them vaccinated and the big one was no swearing. But in reality I am not even close to that mom and here is why.

When it comes to documenting her entire life… I have failed miserably. I do a great job with pictures and I do a great job with capturing her first moments then sharing them with social media, but that is as far as it goes.

When people ask, “oh when did she first crawl, roll over, or stand”…Yeah I have no idea. Hold on while I scroll back two years on my Facebook page…

Now I always wanted to be that mom because I see other moms that are like that and it is awesome what they can do with all of that information. Make cute little boards with their children’s achievements, shadow boxes, etc. I wish!! I’m lucky if I get time to shower during the day let alone take the time to write down everything in the baby book.

And then there’s breastfeeding. AHHHHH! This is basically one of the biggest controversies of motherhood, outside of vaccines, which I’m not going to discuss because I vaccinated, and I can’t take that back now.

But I had every intention of breastfeeding. It just did not work for me. Right from the beginning there were issues but I continued to try. I gave her what I could and then I supplemented it with organic baby formula. And guess what… my daughter is incredibly intelligent for her age, and has succeeded in all of her level of development charts.

Believe it or not those are actual arguments I have to have. “Breast milk is best”, “It makes them smarter”, “It helps fight off bacteria”…Yes, No, Yes. I tried and I was so upset, but I had to move on because I am a mom and well I can’t stress over things I can’t change. There is no time for that.

So that brings me to my no technology rule. That is a huge failure on my end. Today we live in a world that is technology. Literally almost everything I do technology is involved in. If I need an answer for a question I use the Internet. If I need to talk to friends or family I use my phone.  Hell they even have an app for delivering your groceries.

Seriously and your expected to keep all this away from a toddler who watches you on a daily basis use it? Hmmm… well I don’t. I don’t have a time limit on when she can or cannot watch TV, if she grabs my phone and she uses it to watch videos of puppies on YouTube that is okay by me.

I also swear all the time. Damn it! This is a huge parent fail for me. All I can say to this is, sorry not sorry. The world expresses themselves the way they want and well swearing just happens to be the way my family and I explain most everything we talk about.

However, I absolutely will not tolerate my child to swear in public or even at home. Like everything else you say, you have to be able to understand how people are going to interpret what you are saying, obviously my two year old cannot do that.

But hey guess what?! My child didn’t use a pacifier (because she didn’t like it) and her bottle was gone at one!

So I am here to tell you it doesn’t really matter what type of parent you are. It doesn’t matter if you don’t live up to the expectations you gave yourself or others have made you feel you have to achieve. As long as you love them and put them before yourself, they are clothed, fed and have a safe place to sleep; YOU are doing great! And I am sure you don’t hear it as much as you deserve too.