After so long of total darkness, I’m trying to climb out of it.
I’m trying to become the person that my younger self dreamed of being—but it’s easier said than done.
I wish I could go back to when laughing came easy and the only thing I worried about was what was for dinner.
I don't really remember who I was before I went off to war to battle with myself.
I would tell myself to not worry so much and instead just let yourself be happy.
I'd tell myself to cherish all the time I had under the same roof as my family because once life starts getting in the way, we rarely are all under the same roof again.
And I surely would tell myself to avoid getting caught up in so much drama that is barely relevant to your life.
Live in the now, I would tell myself, forget about going through the motions, and never lose that sparkle that’s in your eye.
But yet, I did lose that sparkle and I did lose my happiness on this long, winding path we call life.
I only hope that my younger self hasn't completely lost faith in me, and still believes I can be who they need me to be.
Life is hard and sometimes we forget about the good in the world.
Sometimes we lose our way and realize that nothing gold can stay; and yet, my former self believed in gold and believed in freedom from ourselves.
I’m trying, I really am, and I'm going to make me proud of myself one day, I promise. Just don't lose faith in me yet.
I want to believe that everything in life happens for a reason, and maybe that the world isn't out to get us.
I want to believe that good things happen to good people and that there really is someone watching over us.
But most importantly, I want to believe in happiness, and gold, and unicorns, and leprechauns at the end of the rainbow.
I want to believe in magic, and one day, I believe that I can get there, so to my younger and current self: never lose that hope and belief that everything will one day be okay.
