Her anxiety hits her out absolutely nowhere, and hard. When it comes, it overtakes her.
Without warning it consumes her mind and sends her heart racing for what ends up being no reason at all.
It makes her think crazy things like she unwanted, unloved, that she’s not good enough.
Because of her anxiety she feels powerless and small, and when it hits she doesn't even know what to do sometimes.
So she stays frozen, hands clammy, breath shaky, legs jittering just praying that it’ll pass.
It gets so bad sometimes that she’s stuck in bed, paralyzed by the fear that something is wrong, just staring at the ceiling doing everything she can to calm herself down.
The thing is, she could be having a perfectly good day and it can all be washed away by this feeling of panic and doubt. It’s like she’s on pause while everything is still in motion.
It’s a hard battle to fight on her own.
She doesn’t want to, but she feels like a burden when it comes to telling people. She’s terrified that it’ll give them a reason to walk away or feel sorry for her.
She doesn’t expect everyone to understand it, it’s a hard pill to swallow that her brain is making her feel this way when in reality everything is perfect fine.
Honestly, she doesn’t fully understand it herself so she usually veers away from explaining it to anyone who doesn’t have it.
But behind the strong front she tries to keep up, she’s begging you, please don’t push her away. Don’t be so unsure of what to say to her that you say nothing at all. Because being alone is the worst thing for her, especially in the middle of one of her attacks.
Stay with her, hold her. Please know that knowing you’re there for her even if you don’t quite understand means more to her than you know.