In my experience if something feels like it's off, that's because it probably is. Just because someone is an a**hole or selfish doesn't mean they are a Narcissist. It is a specific disorder and can be hard to pin-point at first.
Narcissists are very charming and exciting people at first, but after getting to know them they are very draining and in extreme situations dangerous.
You might find Narcissists to be people you never expected. These people can be your family, your friend, your boss, your coworker, or your significant other. If you suspect someone is a Narcissist, here are signs to be on the lookout for:
–Is very charming.
When you first meet them you're blown away by their charisma. They know all the right things to say to all the right people. They know how to read people and alter their personality to get people to like and trust them.
–Thinks and talks very highly about themselves.
When the narcissist is talking about themselves (which is often) it is always in a grandiose fashion. They think they are the best and dominate at everything, and want you to know it too. They'll praise themselves, often bragging and exaggerating about their accomplishments.
–Feels entitled.
Since they think they are the best, they feel entitled to things simply because of this fact. They feel they deserve the best lover, the best position in the business, the best lifestyle. They think everyone else is below them and not as worthy of such high levels of power and success as them.
–Needs excessive admiration and compliments.
Narcissists live to be admired. They don't just want praise, they need it. They need to be constantly fed compliments because of their high sense of self. If you cannot provide this for the narcissist and think otherwise, they will reject your existence because their fragile egos cannot handle it. Because you're obviously crazy that you can't see their worth.
–Stays friends with their exes.
Now it's fairly common for some of us to still stay friends/acquaintances with our exes. But narcissists take this to a-whole-nother level. They collect all people from their past and create a harem. Everyone from casual hookups to past relationships to potential future interests, and everyone in between that they can use again at some point in the future.
They keep frequent tabs on all people in their harem and when in a dry spell, will toss the current person into the harem and it will be another person's turn from within the harem. They get bored very easily and will go through frequent rotations.
–Lacks morals and remorse.
Narcissists are just that, narcissistic. They are selfish people and don't care about your feelings as long as they are doing whatever makes them happy. They will pretend they care, but they don't even have the capability to care for others and feel empathy, as they lack remorse for their actions.
They know right from wrong by what society has told them, but they cannot truly feel the difference. This why they can do something extremely hurtful without batting an eye or second thoughts.
–Is very impulsive.
They can be very exciting people to be around. They tend to love spontaneity and adrenaline rush experiences. They get bored extremely easily with the status quo and need to get their next adrenaline hit. As lovers they are addicting to be around but then a nightmare when they decide you've lost your luster and they need to chase someone new. They act upon what they feel in that very moment without much thought behind it, which sometimes can get them in trouble.
–Has sharp mood swings.
Narcissists are emotionally unstable. It doesn't take a lot to sharply shift from a happy pleasant person to a raging nightmare. They are always on the edge of a breakdown when something goes wrong. They are not emotionally strong and become very angry and depressed. They can even be dangerous to be around when they have mental breakdowns.
–Hates authority.
They are the best, why should anybody be above them? They despise authority figures and quite frankly, reject their authority entirely and do as they please. Nobody can tell them what to do. At first glance this can be seen as confidence and strong sense of self, but it goes much deeper than that.
–Belittles you.
In order to keep control over you, they make you feel worthless. Like it is a privilege someone so grand as themselves is even considering keeping such an average person like yourself in their company. Everything you do and are will be dismissed or undermined in their eyes.
–Is envious and competitive.
Their fragile egos can't stand seeing others be happy and successful. They'll put on a fake smile and pretend they're happy for others, but inside they are raging with hate and jealousy. They must be the best and the center of attention to feel satisfied.
–Contradicts him/herself.
They are really big liars and manipulators. This is why they are contradicting their stories, their opinions, and their personalities. They change up what they say based on who they are talking to, when they are talking to them, and how they feel in that moment. They're not honest people, so consistency will always be lacking.
–Is pessimistic.
Being so jaded and miserable all the time, they have a pessimistic view on life. They project themselves onto other people and don't trusts. They are deeply unhappy within themselves and cannot form deep connections or feelings of intimacy and love. They often walk a sad and lonely road in life as they stand in their own way.
Narcissists are draining and difficult to be around for a prolonged period of time. If you have suffered from Narcissistic abuse, you are not alone. It is extremely difficult to realize you've been blindsided and being around this person can be toxic for your own mental health.
It is hard to let go of someone you love if they are a Narcissist, especially is if is a family member of significant other. But at the end of the day you need to do what is best for your well-being and it is okay to leave these people in the past.
