Dating nowadays is so messed up. I watch old movies and find myself wishing relationships were the way it used to be filled with opening doors, going on lots of dates– no late night calls, or basing it on sex. Relationships used to be all about effort and honesty.
Today, we’re misguided. It is not about putting in effort anymore, it’s turned into hookups and friends with benefits. This generation is more into casual sex than committed relationships and I want no part of it.
I would rather someone take me out to lunch and have small talk than have sex one night and not hear from them the next day. I want someone to show me how much they care about me– not just about what they can do to me in bed.
When was the last time you went on a real date and talked face to face? Not a text or a Tinder message, not a hangout just to have sex. When is the last time you had a heart to heart conversation with someone you really cared about? Not just kinky flirting with a stranger.
When’s the last time someone made a genuine effort to get you to like them not just get you in bed? We get so stuck behind our phone screens that we forget to put effort into actually getting to know someone.
Back in the day, flirting was asking someone on a date and buying them dinner. Telling them how beautiful they look when you go to pick them up. Now, flirting is liking someone’s picture and sexting. Everything is so sexualized we forget about the simple things.
Connections became superficial. You like someone for what’s on the outside because you don’t know what’s on the inside. You don’t know their passion or fears. You just know how good their selfies are and what they did ask Friday night.
Social media has changed relationships completely. Past relationships used to be something you had to talk about and figure out through long talks. Now, you can just check their Facebook and you will find out everything you need to know about their ex. So you start to compare yourself to the last person they were with and suddenly you don’t feel good enough.
Scrolling through an Instagram feed, all you see is happy couples that look like they have the perfect relationship. You don’t see all their flaws and struggles. What you see is one-sided. Back in the day, Instagram didn’t exist, you only saw the reality of the relationships so jealousy was never a problem.
We expect love to be easy. For it to be like the movies and always be love at first sight. So as soon as things aren’t perfect, we run the other way. Our generation can’t handle the effort a real relationships needs.
We have gotten to use to tinder finding us people instead of us looking for ourselves. Someone seeing our Instagram selfies instead of seeing us for who we truly are. They slide into are DM’s instead of asking us on a real date in person. Asking “what’s up?” by text instead of “what’s your biggest fear?” in person.
This hookup culture is all about no love, no feelings, no commitment or emotional attachment, and I want nothing to do with it. I want a genuine love, but it is getting harder and harder to find someone who is willing to not follow the stereotypes and have a real relationship.
What this generation is calling ‘dating’ is just a hookup culture. So for now, I am done trying to love someone who doesn’t know what love is. I will wait for the day, I get treated the way I deserve instead of just being sexualized.
It may work for some, but it isn’t for me. I will wait for the day I am truly loved. I’m so done with this low key love, I’m ready for an intense passion whenever anyone else is.
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