There are days that I want nothing more than to make a fort, hide inside and hide from it all. There are days I don't know how I do it all but, I do.
All the doctor appointments. The dance schedule. The school functions. Car pools, making dinner, baths, homework…. The list goes on and on.
No, I don’t know where that one toy is that you cannot describe to me. I am not a mind reader and descriptions of “the pink thing” does not help me help you find it. No, I can’t tell you why your sister is pulling your hair. No, I don’t know why I forgot to get you the gummies you absolutely love for your lunch. I am sorry that I didn’t send the permission slip back on time. I am sorry we missed Family Fun Night at your school. I’m sorry that you write me notes about living with your father because I didn’t remember your specific colored flats for your outfit. I am sorry that shampoo doesn’t smell like your favorite kind of apple. I’m sorry that you don’t like the chocolate pudding today but, you certainly did yesterday!
Don’t get me wrong there is no one or nothing I love more in this world than my children and being their mother. Sometimes though mommy is tired. I am not Super Woman and although I try to do it all, I will forget things. I will not always be on time, we may eat quick dinners more often than we should, sometimes we may not get to play that board game before bedtime and there will be times that I have to clean the house and it cannot wait until after you go to bed.
What makes me want to run most of all? Unwarranted advice from people who think they’re being helpful.
You are not being helpful! You are simply adding to the annoyances of my day!
You have never done the single mom life; don’t try to tell me it is easy! I manage the lives of three people every day!
Just about the worst advice you can ever give a single mother- just wait until they’re in bed to do it. No thank you!
When they go to bed I want my “me” time. I want to watch my DVR (or fall asleep after 5 minutes of it). I want to shower without a little person pulling the curtain back demanding I put on the same episode of Paw Patrol for the six thousandth time today! I don’t have to clean up juice spills or food from the floor. I don’t have to do the laundry. I don’t have to do the dishes. The purpose of “me” time is for ME!
And to all those single mothers out there- DO NOT feel guilty about choosing to let your child play by themselves. It is just like letting them “cry it out” as a baby; they learn to be independent, to use their imagination.
It helps them to learn different life skills like how to share with that sibling they were just smothering with a pillow two seconds ago. How to speak to another person in a nice manner instead of: “You’re stupid and I’m telling mom!….MOM!” They will learn how to use their eyes for more than those obnoxious cartoons and they will find that “pink thing." Trust me.
It DOES NOT make you a “bad mother” because you didn’t give them 100% of your attention.
NEVER let anyone make you feel guilty because you know even when you're not killing your back playing on the hardwood floor, your babies always have 100% of your attention. You know it, outsiders do not.
They ate. They made it everywhere they needed or wanted to go. They had a bath. They have clothes to put on. The bed they’re sleeping in, in the house you pay for.
Everything they have is because of you and all your dedication and hard work.
You are showing that little girl how to be an independent woman who can do anything she wants as long as she has the drive and ambition to do so.
You are showing that little boy how to respect a woman who works harder than any man to keep the ship sailing smoothly.
They will not remember the few times you didn’t play tea party with them. They will only remember the times you were there and what you did for them.
If there is one piece of advice anyone should give a single mother it is this:
At the end of the day, do not sweat the small stuff, you are a great mom! Your child survived another day with you as their mom!
