For a big part of my life, I was always considered “the sad girl”. I was always pretty quiet and kept to myself. I didn’t really have a huge group of friends, I’ve always had one or two people that I considered to be “true friends” to me ( even though sometimes they weren’t) and I think I generally just seemed “down in the dumps” most of the time. After a while of being thought of this way, I got sick of it. I am a genuinely happy person, and I wanted people to truly see that side of me. So, I decided that I was going to “force myself to be happy” (it sounds crazy, I know but hear me out.)
I decided that I was going to be the person I always wanted be.
I started smiling more.
I started laughing more.
I surrounded myself with people that made me happy.
Slowly, I saw myself turning into the person that I knew I was.
I would look in the mirror and see this happy, positive person and I loved it.
I loved being happy, and I wanted some way to make those around me happy as well.
I loved the feeling of making someone’s day brighter or having someone smile when they make eye contact with me.
I knew what it felt like to be upset, and sad. I know that when I felt that way I just wanted someone who would do the same for me.
Eventually, I became the person that "makes everyone's day brighter" or the person that "will always put a smile on your face".
Even though it’s great to be known as this person (especially because it took a long time for me to get to where I am now), I feel like people forget that it is easy to get lonely.
Currently, I have one friend in my life.
Don’t get me wrong, I have people in my life that I talk to, laugh with, and I can be myself around.
But a true friend? Someone I can really rely on to be there for me, and put up with my problems and actually listen to me?
I have one. Just one person. I know that there’s a quote somewhere that goes along the lines of “ In your entire life, you can probably count your true friends on one hand. Maybe even on one finger. Those are the friends you need to cherish.”
And although this is true for me, I have to admit. It gets lonely when that one friend isn’t around.
They have their own lives, and their own problems they don’t have to put up with mine all the time.
But sometimes you just want someone who will listen to you and what you have to say, and it’s hard when you have one true friend, and they aren’t around at times.
I read a quote earlier today and it really hit me. It went along the lines of this “ The person who tries to make everyone happy usually ends up being the loneliest person.” And although I’ve heard this quote a ton of times over the course of my life and I never really realized how accurate it can be.
There have been times when there was no one to talk to and I became so upset.
I don't think people really picked up on it.
I would fake the smiles.
And I would hold back the tears.
I’m not saying this to make people pity me, but more so that people can become more aware and can pick up on it for those around them.
Because the happiest person in the room may be holding back a lot more than you could ever imagine.
So please, do me a favor.
Next time you're in a room with someone that is constantly smiling, or is known for making someone's day brighter.
Talk to them.
Ask them how their day went.
Tell them a funny joke.
Or even just say hi.
Because sometimes that person forgets that they can be happy also.
And the small things like that can really turn someone's day around.
And I promise you.
That small gesture will make the brightest smile appear on that person's face.