The struggle is real: even though I’d rather not waste my energy on friendships that don't make me a better person, some not-so-awesome people I know just can’t take a hint.
I may seem nice, but they have no idea what I really think.
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I’m sorry, but just because you think I like you, doesn’t mean I actually do. While you’re going on about how much you love our new best friendship, I’m just thinking about how happy I’ll be when you finally walk away.
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That joke you just made? I’m laughing hysterically because it was so awful, not because you’re actually funny.
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We always meet at a bar for a reason. I’m not drinking to have more fun, I’m drinking to make you more fun.
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I don’t talk behind your back because I’ve already wasted too much of my valuable time thinking horrible things about you.
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When I say “I’m really sorry, I already have plans,” I’m really thinking "I would rather do literally anything than hang out with you."
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I “like” your pictures on social media because I feel bad for you, not because they're in any way cute. Not even the best filter in the world could hide your two faces.
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When you have a zit or blemish, I’m 100% lying when I say "I didn’t notice until you pointed it out." It’s seriously the only thing I can see when I look at you.
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I was not really sleeping, working, or in a movie when I don't text you back for hours on end. Sorry not sorry, but when I check my phone and see it’s you, I don’t even consider responding.
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The more you talk, the more I contemplate chopping my ears off. Do you ever stop running that mouth of yours?
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I wanted to like you, I really did, but it’s exhausting, degrading, and honestly not worth it to put work into a friendship that’s just going to bring me down in the long run.
