Every time you have tried to come back into my life, you’ve jeopardized it. You have sabotaged me and everything that surrounds me one too many times.
I used to love you with everything my wild heart had in it, every time we were together you lit a fire deep in my soul. But today, my heart has been tamed by hurt, pain, and devastation, while your heart roams this earth scratch free.
Now, you expect me to drop everything for you, when you left me with no reasons but to hate you. I cried for you all this time. I stayed wondering why someone could have claimed they loved me and yet abandoned me when I needed them the most. I tried understanding why they could have left me vulnerable for others to judge.
You didn’t care about me at all. All you did was threaten me and marked my feelings and opinions invalid. You made me feel like there was something wrong with me.
Now, you’re coming back because you’re alone and desperate. You had to find something that confirmed your control so to fill that void of feeling wanted. We both know that’s the real reason you came looking for me.
You don’t even care that I have my life set-up. You don’t wish to follow my terms or respect my boundaries because the truth is you never cared to. You ask to pick up where we left off, except where we let off was awful. I honestly don’t know what world you’re living in to think that we were anything but toxic.
If you really had wanted to be with me, you would’ve done the right thing from the start. You wouldn’t be falsifying emotions to see if I’d believe you. You wouldn’t sit here trying to commove me with your cynical motives.
You could have done everything to change and prove that you’re a man full of worth. That perhaps you could truly love someone completely and really mean it. So, you can’t blame me for not believing you still love me.
When we spoke, your quick tongue and piercing remarks were all still there. You claim to understand, pretending you know you have much to make up for but we both know this isn’t true, despite how “sorry” you are.
There’s no patience, respect or kindness behind your words. You’d rather be on top, you’d rather have the last word.
Your ego, jealousy, and selfishness will always hold you back. You will never genuinely feel happy for someone because your negative attributes control you.
With the disrespect you have shown me, you have validated you haven’t changed. You’ve proven that everything must work in your favor. Sorry but I’ve given you too many chances and heard one too many sorry’s for me to let you into my life again.
So, if my honesty enrages you rather than open your eyes, I’ve made the right decision. I have grown to know better and face the truth that you and I were never meant to be.
You will keep roaming this world alone, settling for false, temporary happiness; because your heart– it’s black.