Dear Family,
I want to start this off with a big thank you. Thank you for being there during the hardest time of my life thus far.
I know I wasn’t the easiest person to deal with and more often than not you probably wanted to beat knots on my head.
Having your heart broke by the one person you thought wouldn’t is something I can promise I will never let get me down like that again.
I want you all to know that no matter what happens to me in future relationships, I will be okay.
I understand that none of you want to see me hurt like that ever again. I know seeing me like that was hard for you.
I can’t let the fear of feeling like that stop me from loving again. I don’t want the fear of me getting hurt again to stop you from liking the next guy.
The next guy won’t be like the last guy. If I’m going to take a chance on him I would like you guys to do the same.
I’m not an idiot, I know that liking him isn’t going to be your first instinct because you don’t want to see me get hurt.
I’m glad you guys want to protect me from that but this is life and some of the best lessons are the ones learned the hard way.
I mean remember that one time I fell down because my shoes were untied and I face planted on the road. Hurt like hell but I kept my shoes tied after that.
I know I’ve been in some pretty bad relationships and was treated worse than I deserved.
Each one taught me a little something about myself.
Each one taught me a little something about life. I don’t regret a single one of them.
I don’t wish things with them would have ended differently. Why you ask? Because those relationships, those hard times, made me who I am today and I am beyond happy with that person. I know you all are proud of that person.
A relationship that was less than great but it wasn’t all bad. I was mentally abused and my self confidence was destroyed. I was young and thought I was in love. My random crazy personality was too much for that person to handle and he tried to destroy that and in some ways he did.
Years later I have regained that confidence and my random crazy personality is shining brighter than it ever has. I will not change who I am to please another person ever again. There is someone out there that will love my acts of randomness and will even join me in them.
A relationship where I was used constantly in more ways than one. I made some of the dumbest decisions I’ve ever made to date in that relationship but those dumb decisions didn’t ruin my life. If there is one thing I learned from that, its that no matter how good a person sounds their actions speak way louder.
I will never again put 110% effort into someone and only get 25% in return. You can cut the rattle off a snake but it will always be a rattle snake. Some people don't deserve second chances because they didn't learn from the first time and those mistakes.
A relationship where the actual relationship was great but the break up was bad. I was treated great, I was happy, and I was able to be myself. There was a serious lack of communication and lack of understanding. I know now that in order to have a healthy working relationship communication is key. Team work is important.
I want you all to know this as I start dating someone. No matter what happens, I will be okay. Going through that painful experience has taught me this; I am strong enough to survive on my own and if need be I will. I know I am a great person and if someone comes into my life and doesn’t see that then its their loss. I will never ever again give someone the power to make me feel less than I am.
I know I have a good heart and God has made someone strong enough to love it. All of these people God has put in my life were and are placed there for a reason. I value each and every lesson I have learned along the way.
I can’t thank you all enough for not giving up on me. Thank you for helping me pick up those pieces and put them back together. I honestly couldn’t have done it without you.
Love,
Me
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