The “5 Love Languages” are a way to break down and learn about how you and your significant other feel loved. How do you feel appreciated? What makes you feel the most loved and cared for? When being shown love, what means the most to you? How can you care for your loved one once their love language has been determined?
1. Words of Affirmation – This language uses words to affirm people. Words literally mean the world to those who speak this language. Don’t hold back how you feel or how much they mean to you. It’s important to express yourself in words, both written and verbally, to these people.
2. Acts of Service – For these people, actions speak louder than words. Helping these people out with a task, chore, or other thing can go a long way. Those who speak this language see the effort that goes into an act of service and genuinely appreciate it.
3. Quality Time – This language is all about giving the other person your undivided attention. “Time is money” rings true to these people, as they know how valuable your time is. Intentionally planning to spend time with them means more to them than any action or gift could.
4. Receiving Gifts – For some people, what makes them feel most loved is to receive a gift. Receiving a gift from a loved one shows that you were thought of. This is a constant, physical reminder of another’s love and can truly be a way that love is felt over and over again.
5. Physical Touch – To this person, nothing speaks more deeply than appropriate touch. From hand holding to hugging to a little bit more, physical touch is very important to this person when being shown affection. They know how much love can be felt and expressed through a simple hug.
A person can have more than one love language, and to an extent most people appreciate all five. However, most people have one or two languages that speak to them particularly, that mean more to them than the others.
For example, if someone’s love language is quality time, a gift might be still appreciated and enjoyed. However, that person may tend to appreciate the time you put into the gift more than the gift itself, and the time that you took out to intentionally spend with them and give it to them.
These can also be a good reminder that not everyone feels and expresses love in the same way. We love how we best know how to love, but sometimes others may not see it that way. If physical touch is your love language, you might be a person who appreciates a lot of hugs and touching. However, if your significant other’s love language is not physical touch, they may show love in other ways to you that are closer to their love language without even knowing it.
These concepts don’t have to be solely for married/dating couples. Singles and others in your life can benefit from knowing your love language and having you know theirs. Friendships, family, and even coworkers need to feel loved and appreciated, and we can best show this appreciation when we know how they truly feel loved.
Relationships and loving others can be hard enough and takes a lot of work. Being proactive about learning your love language and the love languages of others can help to better understand how you can interact with and care for each other.
Find more information about determining your love language, the author Gary Chapman, and the 5 love languages at: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/
