“Rach, I can’t walk by the bullpen, I’m gonna puke.” I said with a shaky breath. Talking to guys on any level aside from friendship made my palms sweaty. The very idea of meeting Jason face to face for the first time at the bullpen during a Gwinnett Braves game made my insides churn. Rachel just laughed at me and said, “I mean, you guys are friends, right? It shouldn’t be a big deal.” “Yeah, of course. I’m just nervous with all of these people around looking at us.” I straight up lied to Rachel about Jason and I having been friends for a while. I just didn’t want to face judgmental looks from her after trying to explain to her that we met off of Twitter. Rachel was sweet and hilarious, but she also had a tendency to be judgmental towards anyone that wasn’t her. “Okay, lets walk over there.” I sighed. We walked up to the bullpen and all of the pitchers were sitting on a bench high enough to see over the wall into the outfield. As soon as we started walking over, every single head turned to look at us. Jason peeked over from the middle of the guys and smiled and waved. I waved and quickly turned to Rachel to fake conversation. I internally cringed at my awkwardness. I could still feel every eye in the bullpen on Rachel and me as we headed back to our seats. I felt like I was under a microscope, and I wasn’t sure I liked it. Rachel and I got some snacks and enjoyed each other’s company the rest of the game. Jason did not end up pitching in the game, so I was kind of disappointed.
I said my goodbyes to Rachel and waited around in my car to see if Jason would text me about maybe hanging out. I checked my makeup probably seven times and then finally called my mom to kill time. I told her about the game and got her up to date on what had happened at the bullpen. She was intrigued and thought it would be a good idea to wait around after and see if he asked me to hang out. Thirty minutes had gone by and I finally got a text from Jason. “Hey gorgeous”. My heart always dropped into my stomach when he called me nice things. No other boy had that power over me. It was refreshing and I wasn’t sure why something so simple made me feel so many things at once. We texted on and off and he never said anything about hanging out after the game. I finally decided to leave and go home. I was honestly really disappointed he didn’t ask me to hang out after the game. It wasn’t that late. Was something wrong with me? He was texting me like usual. He kept telling me how gorgeous I was in person. It was so confusing.
The next day I woke up to my usual text from Jason. We were talking daily now. He was like a new aspect of my days that left me feeling energized and pretty and wanted. Around 4 pm he said “Hey, do you wanna come see a movie with me?” I leapt out of my seat. I rant straight to my mom and told her what he had asked me and what I should say back. She was excited for me and said she would help me pick out an outfit. I replied back and let him know I was down for a movie. I was getting really good at replying in a relaxed manner. After all, I didn’t want him to think I was a crazy person. He gave me directions to his apartment and told me what time to show up. Until then, I would be nauseous and sweaty and fixing my makeup and hair until I was content with my looks.
I pulled into an apartment complex about thirty minutes from my house. “Mom, this place looks like something out of a magazine. There are bronze fountains and really expensive cars outside. This is absolutely crazy!” I told my mom on the phone. I hung up as I pulled up to what was supposed to be his apartment. The cars outside of this apartment seemed normal enough. “I’m here” I texted Jason. I started getting out of the car as I saw the door open. The first time I saw him in person and walking towards me. He was incredibly tall and way better looking than the pictures I had found of him on Google. They just didn’t do him justice. His hair was styled and cut in a 1950’s-esque fashion. He was dressed in athletic pants and an athletic looking t-shirt. I could barely get a couple breaths in as he made his way towards me. He walked quickly over to me and hugged me. He smelled so good. I smiled shyly at him and said hello. He had a very inviting personality. We got in his car, an older BMW crossover, and he began playing music and talking to me like we were long lost best friends. He was incredibly flirty, asking about my life and things I liked as he drove. “So how old are you?” he asked as he was making a turn. “Eighteen, I’ll be nineteen in August, though.” I thought he was going to wreck the car during the turn. “What? You’re only 18?!” he asked incredulously. “Yeah, I mean, is that an issue? How old are you?” I asked with a little bit of an edge to my voice. I didn’t like being treated like a child. I knew he was only 24 based on my Google search of him. He was acting like I was 12 and he was 35. “I’m 24, and it’s not a problem at all, I just thought you were around my age based on your pictures and how you carry yourself.” He said. My voice softened, “Oh, okay. You aren’t that much older than me, though” He looked over at me and laughed. I wasn’t sure why, but I guess he found that funny.
Jason sang the whole car ride. I didn’t understand how someone could sing and act so comfortable around someone he barely knew. I was struggling to feel like I could really be myself around him. He seemed like fun, but he also took himself very seriously. He sang “Drunk on a Plane”, by Dierks Bentley the majority of our car ride. I asked him why he liked the song so much and he said “I just feel like it’s something that would happen to me.” He said. We pulled up to a Taco Bell outside the movie theatre. He asked me if I wanted anything and I said no that I was fine. The truth was, I loved Taco Bell and could eat it at any given time. However, I wasn’t about to gorge on Taco Bell in front of this hot older man who already thought I was a child. Jason ate his Taco Bell and we went into the movie theatre. It was the kind of movie theatre where you could eat and drink in the movie and waiters would bring you things you ordered. It was amazing and I had never experienced anything like it before. As we walked past the bar to get to our movie, Jason made a comment about how I couldn’t even drink out of the bar if I wanted to because I was so young. The truth was, I didn’t drink at all.
Jason ordered us some popcorn and the waiter brought it to us. In all of the excitement of paying attention to him and trying to seem mature, I had completely forgotten to ask what movie we were seeing. He told me the name and it didn’t register. It was some crude comedy that was decent but I was more interested in it being over so we could talk to each other more. The movie ended two long hours later and we headed back to his place. He asked me to come hangout inside. I was thrilled that he had asked me. I didn’t know if he was planning on sending me back home after the movie or what. He already seemed so unpredictable to me. One of his roommates was laying on the couch watching TV. Jason kindly introduced us and informed me that his name was Paul. Paul was a sweetheart but clearly very drunk. I did not understand why an athlete would drink in excess, but I guess that was how he wanted to spend their day off.
Jason led me into his bedroom. It was fairly small, and books were everywhere. He had a new TV that he had yet to set up and get to work. The box was still lying beside the door. I asked Jason excitedly if the books in the room were his and if he liked to read. He scoffed and said the place came furnished and that he didn’t like reading. I was a little sad to hear him say that, as I loved reading. Jason kept trying to set up his TV but couldn’t figure out how. He asked for my help, and I quickly assessed that he needed to connect the TV to the Wi-Fi before it would work. He seemed dumbfounded that I could assess the problem that quickly. He also had no idea what the Wi-Fi password was or where the router was located. We went back out to ask Paul for the information. I quickly typed in the Wi-Fi password and got the TV working to Jason’s specifications. He put on some Netflix and we talked and watched Good Burger. He insisted on me watching it since I had not ever seen it before. I couldn’t tell you what happened the entire movie because my attention was on whatever Jason was saying during it. He was attractive, but not in a standard way. He was on the skinnier side, and had a very distinctive nose. There was just something that made me think he was cute in a quirky sort of way. We talked and cuddled until 2 AM. Finally, I told him I needed to head home. He walked me out to my car and hugged me for a full 2 minutes before letting me go. “Drive safe, and text me when you get home” he said as he looked deeply into my eyes. I could have stayed standing in the streetlight looking at him until dawn, but I got into my car very quickly and drove away. Whatever connection I felt with him was strong, and I wondered if he had felt it too.
