“I’ve got shame, I’ve got scars that I will never show. I’m a survivor in more ways than you know.” – Demi Lovato, Warrior
This girl has hidden her past trauma for the majority of her life.
She was forever changed by a moment that shook her to her core. It was so shocking that she had no idea how to even begin talking about it.
So, she didn’t. She shut down that part of herself and hid it deep in the back of her mind. It changed her, turned her into a completely different person.
She became cold and bitter.
She couldn’t face what had happened to her, but she was so angry. She didn’t believe anyone could truly have her best interests at heart because someone she thought she could trust completely wrecked her.
So she turned her back on everyone because, in a way, she blamed them for not saving her.
She also blamed herself. She had always been such an independent, loving, carefree person, and that was stolen from her. She thought she could protect herself, but when push came to shove, she just couldn’t.
She numbed her pain however she could until eventually, that caught up with her too.
After awhile, she had no choice but to let herself remember the trauma, the terror she experienced, in order to truly move on.
She began to open herself up again. She stopped blaming everyone else and, most importantly, she stopped blaming herself.
She learned to see her experience as something that, although awful, shaped her into the person she is today – strong, fierce, protective, and caring.
She started a revolutionary journey to love herself, find her way back to God, and hopefully, one day, love someone else again.
Her path is long and feels endless. There are days when she just wishes she could return to simply numbing the pain, but she refuses to be that girl anymore because she has so much more to give.
She hopes to share her experience with the world one day, to use it to shape others’ lives for the better and help them cope with whatever they've gone through.
She can't take back what happened to her, and now, she isn't sure she would even want to.
Because she's learned that she's amazing. She is a survivor, not a victim.
And she will always win.
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