in

The Life of a Spoonie

I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume that you've read or at the very least watched Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone/Sorcerer's Stone. If you haven't there is something wrong with you and you should run to your local book store and get it.

Now this may be because I am still a fan girl to this day or possibly because it's true, but today I came to realize that if you are spoonie, "you have a half life, a cursed life."

I should probably explain all of that. I'll start with the term spoonie, it is a term coined from "The Spoon Theory" developed by Christine Miserandino.

"The Spoon Theory" helps explain the struggle of having disabilities or chronic illness and the choices that have to be made when it comes to task that involve energy.

The quote of the 'half life, a cursed life'- that comes from Harry Potter. That's the line that the centaur in the movie tells Harry after Harry witnesses a hooded creature drinking the blood of a unicorn. 

The centaur tells Harry, that unicorn blood can save someone even if they are an inch from death, but it comes at a cost. If you kill something that pure, you have a half-life a cursed life.

Down in the dungeon when Harry comes face to face with Professor Quirrell, and there's a voice that comes from the back of Quirrell's head. The voice says 'let me speak to him', Quirrell's all 'master your not strong enough for this.'

Then it happens, then the voice says a line that all spoonie's can relate to- "I have strength enough for this."

It dawned on me today as I wrote thank you notes, and folded clothes, and took the dog out, and pick up the room, and then as I was doing dishes thinking about how badly I needed a shower and just couldn't because I was to tired- that I keep telling myself I have strength enough for this.

I watch myself as I fail to stay on top of laundry, and house keeping, and my husband never has a home cooked meal, because I can't. I only have so much energy.

I still like to think that I can do everything I could before I became mentally and physically disabled. The truth is I can't. I can only do so much, and thankfully my husband understands that.

My husband tells me to stop, to slow down, to not push myself so much because he knows I won't be able to even get out of bed for the next two days.

I have gotten better at ignoring that voice that tells me, "I have strength enough for this.",  because I don't. I have to pick and choose what I do, that way I have strength enough for what matters to me.

I may only have a half-life, and if that means that I'm a lousy housekeeper, then okay. I may have a cursed life in the sense I can't do everything, but I have blessed life because I make the choice to make the most out of my life.

And isn't that what life is about anyways? Making the most out of all we've been given.