We drink to forget and then we remember even harder.
It doesn't matter what age you are, love can drive us insane.Especially, the most meaningful love we've ever had.
You never forget. “I made a mistake and I know I did wrong. I haven’t stopped drinking ever since. We had the perfect sense of humor for each other. I’ll miss her and I’ll miss who I was.”
You compare to everyone else you’ve dated. “I’ll be honest, I’ve been with a lot of women in my life. Slept with them, even. But, none of them made me happier than her. I probably wouldn’t have started drinking so much. I hate myself for it.”
You realized you both changed since then. “Would I be happy if I went back with her? If I could reverse time, yeah. She would never go back with me though. I cheated on her and I had to tell her the truth. We’re not the same people anymore. That’s the sad thing about relationships. People change.”
You will probably never be forgiven. “I’m not the first one to drink worries away. I’ve done it for so long I lost myself in my mistakes. Every sip is another reminder about who I am as a person. I deserved it. She deserves better.”
You will keep drinking. “Drinking has been a big part of my life. I don’t want to be that same person I was back then. At least, give me more time to drink. Give me more time to believe that I’m not such a fuck up.”
You will always search. “If there’s some kind of future for me and my drinking habits change, that will be the day. I think it starts with love though. I’m still searching for someone that can teach me to put that glass down and to put that money back in my wallet before buying that same gin and tonic drink.”
The truth will always find me.“I know I’m not running from anything. I know I’m going back in circles. You wake up and it’s that feeling, that thought, and she’s still there in my memories haunting me.”
“The most meaningful love taught me that there is hope for me. I know one day I’ll get there. Until then, I am still the alcoholic everyone else including myself perceive me to be. I am either an inspiration or a memory. I hope at the end of the day, Katherine, you won’t forget me either.”
