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The Pros and Cons of Making the First Move

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I've made the first move a couples times now, and I know how scary it can be. It can be terrifying yet exciting. There are good things and bad things about it, so let me break it down for you.

PROS:

  • Confidence  Boost– There’s no feeling like it. You finally get the courage to talk to someone you’ve been dying to talk to. Your stomach is filled with butterflies, and you’re a weird mixture of excitement and nerves. 
  • It either goes well, or it falls flat. Still, you made a bold move by making the first move. It shows confidence, and people will be attracted to that. If you’re scared, remind yourself that you only live one life, and it shouldn’t be wasted pining over someone. 
  • Make what you want a reality. Keep running those thoughts through your head as you approach him or her. Think positively, and it’ll work in your favor.
  • Finding  Out– A major pro about making the first move is that you’ll find out early if there’s a future there. Instead of obsessing over someone for years, make a move. 
  • The person you’re pining over might not even be the fantasy that you imagined in your head. The longer you wait, the more your expectations will grow into something it’s not. 
  • Find out early if there’s more to this attraction. If there is, then he or she should be excited that you’re making the first move anyway.
  • The ball  is in his/her court– So here’s the thing. 
  • You’ve made the first move. When it’s been reversed, the ball was in your court. You got to make the decision. But this is different. For once, she or he gets to make the decision. 
  • You’ll be able to find out if a person likes you based on his or her reacting to your making the first move. That might be scary to think about, but he or she will definitely be thinking about you after. Think about it. 
  • Even if you don’t like the person, you’re always flattered when someone shows interest regardless of if you’re attracted to that person. Isn’t that what you want?

CONS:

  •  Waiting– Waiting isn’t fun. Once you make the first move, you might want him or her to ask you out next. 
  • But he or she might expect you to make the next move because you made the first. That’s the epitome of dating. It’s confusing because you don’t want to come off as too aggressive, but you want to seem interested at the same time.
  • Intimidation– It takes a lot of confidence to approach a person and make the first move. 
  • However, the person you’re pursuing might assume that you’re talking to several people at once. He or she might also assume you’re taken already because of your outgoing personality. That’s when flirting gets complicated. 
  • You need to let him or her know that you’re just for that one person if you want something serious. Also, drop some hints that you’re single.

In the end, the pros ALWAYS outweigh the cons because in the end, you get what you want. 

Whether that’s closure or an actual relationship, test the waters because what do you have to lose?  If it doesn’t work out, at least you know sooner that it isn’t meant to be. If you’re contemplating making the first move, just do it already. 

You get one life to live. Be bold.

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