The Silent Monster

I wake up in the morning; peek out from under my comforter to check if the coast is clear. I slowly get up; everything seems to be going fine. I get up go into the shower and begin to get ready for the day. I can feel it lingering, and I feel helpless because I cannot stop it. I pretend not to notice it, and instead continue about my day. Its presence is weighing heavier and heavier, slowly dragging me down. I drag myself through the day, until I get home again. I crawl into my bed, turn off all the lights and hide under my covers; I think I am safe here. That is until the quiet settles in, and my mind goes off. It’s present 24/7. There is no avoiding, no hiding from it, no ignoring it. It is always there. Haunting me, as soon as I wake up, all throughout the day and as I try to fall asleep. I think to myself, “ what did I do to deserve this? Why won’t it leave me alone? I just want some peace and quiet”. My anxiety doesn’t take a day off. It leads me to overthink everything, and imagine the worst. It is a heavy burden I secretly carry with me that weighs me down. This is unlike any other monster because there is no getting rid of it. I have learned to live with it.